we got married in January and its been such a off and on thing. I love her, miss her but cant understand her constantly walking away. Im so dang lonley and conffused. What does it take to make her split me back to white?
BPDs are known for splitting\fear of abandonment\fear of engulfment. you have to understand the disorder well to know what you are dealing with. concerning splitting, i think no one can control it except for her. she will split you black in fear of engulfment and then gonna split you white in fear of abandonment.
since you said it has only been since january, i know exactly how much you are confused. my interaction was very short, fast and intense. it leaves you with confusion and uncertainty. "you are not even 100 % sure that she is BPD". i totally understand. you miss the old good days. but trust me nothing good will come out of this. what does she offer you that any healthy girl would not ? you may suffer now. i won't lie it is hard to let go but you can't imagine how much good does it feel just to be back to NORMAL without this mess, with the peace of mind even when alone. you will realize how much u did miss it. be kind to yourself. what you might force yourself to do this now, you will thank yourself for it later.
