For those who remember my situation, I want to update you on things. I have been on my daily anti-BPD mother pills (one daily anti-anxiety pill) for a week. The last few days I have not let anything bother me and my interactions w/ mom have been pleasant.
Until yesterday... . My grandmother in another state was recently moved into my brother' home. He has been sending things to family before her belongings are sold. I received what I requested, and a few wall pictures. So while off my guard talking to her I mentioned we were redecorating a room around the pics my brother sent, a western theme. Mother freaked! :'( My brother told her he was sending those pics to her. I offered to bring them to her, she said she didn't want to talk about it and hung up. I called her back and said my relationship w/ her is more important than pictures on a wall. She insisted she didn't care that much. Then I said I got a Buffalo Bill pic, and she immediately told me she would be asking my uncle (her neighbor) if he wanted it. I gave her a little flak about that, but said if she wanted I would bring everything given to me to her. She said "no big deal." But I know it is a big deal, something more to hold in her heart against me. I am damned if I take her the pics and damned if I don't. Advice?
I kept my calm the whole time. I believe the meds helped. But today I have felt pretty cruddy. Rushing back are those feelings that she wants to hurt me, that she wants to take away from me anything which makes me happy. Worse, she is treating me like an outsider, not family to her.
I have yet to have my first session w/ the therapist.
I'll keep you all updated and I always appreciate the kind words of support and understanding from all of you. I swear those who have BPD's in their lives should be able to get medicinal marijuana cards.
I really mean that.
