Strange at my house

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm in a strange place right now at my house. I'm in the beginning stages of filing for divorce. Atty and I are currently structuring what I would like to see in an agreement and my home is eerily calm. Our s11 is on an extended trip RVing with my parents as well. Now... .normally this alone would cause a great disturbance in my uBPDw but she is handling it quite well... .relatively speaking. There has been no discussion of divorce but I believe that she feels a shift in her world. We haven't been in the same bedroom for over 6 mo now and I would have thought that she'd start getting the picture from that... .she apparently didn't. Since that time I started researching why she acts the way that she does and discovered that she's BPD.

Now that I've started educating myself about the disorder and learning how to more effectively handle my responses to her, she has been on her best behavior. We're no where near the initial idolization stage mind you but right now she's going out of her way to be nice (however... .still not affectionate). From time to time I see the beginning of an unraveling in her demeanor, but she has done a nice job pulling it back together. I get the feeling that she understands that she's lost control... .pushed me too far... .and is doing what she can to let me relax and get comfortable. I really feel like I'm currently in the eye of the storm. I look around and see the destruction that has occurred and it just doesn't seem possible that everything is so calm... .peaceful (still... .relatively speaking). Honestly... .this a different approach for her than in the past. It's just... .STRANGE. I have this feeling of impending doom. Every time I go home... .receive a phone call, text, or email... .I'm waiting for the backside of the storm that I feel is going to be much worse than the front end. I can't help but feel that the pressure building inside of her is going to release in a catastrophic event.

Is this a typical behavioral pattern for a BPD who feels she has to 'win back' her SO? Am I being melodramatic? This is not changing my course... .but I would like to recognize the place I'm in so that I don't get caught off guard.

[tiredandbroken]

I'm in a strange place right now at my house. I'm in the beginning stages of filing for divorce. Atty and I are currently structuring what I would like to see in an agreement and my home is eerily calm. Our s11 is on an extended trip RVing with my parents as well. Now... .normally this alone would cause a great disturbance in my uBPDw but she is handling it quite well... .relatively speaking. There has been no discussion of divorce but I believe that she feels a shift in her world. We haven't been in the same bedroom for over 6 mo now and I would have thought that she'd start getting the picture from that... .she apparently didn't. Since that time I started researching why she acts the way that she does and discovered that she's BPD.

Now that I've started educating myself about the disorder and learning how to more effectively handle my responses to her, she has been on her best behavior. We're no where near the initial idolization stage mind you but right now she's going out of her way to be nice (however... .still not affectionate). From time to time I see the beginning of an unraveling in her demeanor, but she has done a nice job pulling it back together. I get the feeling that she understands that she's lost control... .pushed me too far... .and is doing what she can to let me relax and get comfortable. I really feel like I'm currently in the eye of the storm. I look around and see the destruction that has occurred and it just doesn't seem possible that everything is so calm... .peaceful (still... .relatively speaking). Honestly... .this a different approach for her than in the past. It's just... .STRANGE. I have this feeling of impending doom. Every time I go home... .receive a phone call, text, or email... .I'm waiting for the backside of the storm that I feel is going to be much worse than the front end. I can't help but feel that the pressure building inside of her is going to release in a catastrophic event.

Is this a typical behavioral pattern for a BPD who feels she has to 'win back' her SO? Am I being melodramatic? This is not changing my course... .but I would like to recognize the place I'm in so that I don't get caught off guard.