My Eyes Are Opened

[Parents! Get help here!]

Just need to vent here. For years I have been making excuses for my BPDs24. I have been taking the rap for his irresponsible behaviour and being the 'go-between' for him and the rest of the family. I am sick of feeling like the meat in the sandwich. Five days ago I bought him a new motorcycle. He says he will pay me back even though he has no job and no prospect of getting one. (He already owes me ten thousand dollars)He raced the new bike for more than 20kilometers against another rider 2 days ago and proudly told me he had won the race. He became upset when I told him I wasn't impressed. He was riding recklessly again  yesterday and he lost his license for speeding. I know it was just a matter of time before this happened and am glad he didn't kill someone (including himself). He says he will get out of it in court because the radar the police officer was using must be wrong. When I bought the bike, he told me that if I paid for it, I needed to be the registered owner. I believed him! Now I think about it, who is responsible for the payment of registration? Who is responsible for any tolls accrued? Who is responsible for any damage or maim to another person? Who is responsible for damage by the bike to other property? ME! I have been awake since 2am trying to work out how I can transfer the rego into his name without having to pay all those hideous taxes and stamp duty. But do you know something? I don't care. It's a small price to pay for peace of mind. Wish me luck.

[Upbeat Girl]

Just need to vent here. For years I have been making excuses for my BPDs24. I have been taking the rap for his irresponsible behaviour and being the 'go-between' for him and the rest of the family. I am sick of feeling like the meat in the sandwich. Five days ago I bought him a new motorcycle. He says he will pay me back even though he has no job and no prospect of getting one. (He already owes me ten thousand dollars)He raced the new bike for more than 20kilometers against another rider 2 days ago and proudly told me he had won the race. He became upset when I told him I wasn't impressed. He was riding recklessly again  yesterday and he lost his license for speeding. I know it was just a matter of time before this happened and am glad he didn't kill someone (including himself). He says he will get out of it in court because the radar the police officer was using must be wrong. When I bought the bike, he told me that if I paid for it, I needed to be the registered owner. I believed him! Now I think about it, who is responsible for the payment of registration? Who is responsible for any tolls accrued? Who is responsible for any damage or maim to another person? Who is responsible for damage by the bike to other property? ME! I have been awake since 2am trying to work out how I can transfer the rego into his name without having to pay all those hideous taxes and stamp duty. But do you know something? I don't care. It's a small price to pay for peace of mind. Wish me luck.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[crazedncrazymom]

OUCH!  It's amazing how sometimes we end up doing the completely wrong thing for all the right reasons.  It's so smart of you to put the motorcycle in his name, especially since he's going to be so reckless with it. 

I agree with you about the stupid taxes!  Somehow we didn't put my name on my car when we bought it.  The car is in my husband's name. Now in order to put me on the title we'd be stuck paying taxes.  It's just not worth it.

[Sstepdad]

  The motorcycle is in your name just take it back he can not ride without a license anyway or get insurance.

We have heard the I will pay you back story more than once it never happens.

[Kate4queen]

Went through this with my BPD son 22 with his car. Finally wrote ownership over to him and explained what he needed to do to keep it insured and running. Recently he emailed me asking me to pay off his debts for crashing it and failing to meet his payments on the repair. (no one hurt TG) I refused. He cursed me out.

I will not allow myself to give him what he demands anymore because I'm scared of him going into a rage. However, this is much easier to implement when we are now 2,000 miles apart.

[Being Mindful]

If he lost his license why not sell the bike?