... .Let her experience the pain of losing as many people as possible so she can learn that people are not toys.
Here's the problem with that. If she is truly disordered it doesn't matter how many people she loses, she won't ever learn that lesson. It's beyond her capability.
It is within theyre capability that is what seperates them from a skizophrenic they have to chose to change. A skizo cannot chose to stop seeing visions of things that are not there. How do u think anyone who has healed from BPD has moved forward. Its not about teaching them a lesson its about not letting them feed off of u. They are not crazy they make concious choices just like an alcoholic does. Yes it is hard but the alcoholic has to say wow ive lost everything let me get my ish together and stop destorying things around me. Or they can choose to say hey let me drink. Power giving or not dont let them leech off u its just that simple. Call it what u want giving up some imaginary power by not letting them leech or whatever just dont let them do it. U just said they dont have the capacity to learn so with ur logic why the hell should he allow anymore leeching to be done?
It's why understanding the disorder is important. If we are doing something to try and teach them a lesson they will never learn, our focus is still on them. In a round about way, we're still letting them drive our actions. It's not really about having sympathy for those with BPD. It's about letting go of the anger, and shifting the focus off of them and onto ourselves. No one can fault you for being mad or lacking sympathy for those with BPD. They aren't very sympathetic figures. But the last thing we want to do is give them more power in our lives.
