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Author Topic: BPD reaction to Yawning / sighing  (Read 532 times)
Flora73
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« on: September 02, 2014, 04:38:25 PM »

Can any one shed some light on whether this winds up the BPD SO?

Mine blurts out Oi! as if I was a dog that has wondered away when I should be healed beside her full of attention.
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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

maxsterling
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« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2014, 04:52:29 PM »

I've found that pwBPD are quite in tune to body language and facial expression.  They are constantly trying to interpret other people's moods based on body language. How may times do you get asked "what's wrong?" if you simply aren't smiling?  It's part of their constant search for clues that the world is evil and everyone is out to get them.  I have yet to be given grief for yawning, but sighing for sure! I've also been given crap for sneezing and chewing too loud.  To combat this, I started saying "that's gross" every time she burped.  Finally one day she said, "you really are just saying that so that I will quit making comments about you sneezing and chewing."  Yep!
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mstnghu
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« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2014, 06:15:33 PM »

My wife does the same thing. I can't even clear my throat without her telling me how annoying it is. If I've been working all day and woke up early and it's now anytime after 8pm and I yawn, she gets on my case about it. How dare I be human and get tired?  It doesn't even stop there. There are all sorts of "bodily functions" that I do that everybody does, but for me it's not ok. I can't even go to the bathroom in the morning without her making some sort of rude comment about it. It's absurd.

As maxsterling mentioned, my wife also is always analyzing me to know end. She does the same thing to everybody though, so I couldn't care less anymore.
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BethRoberts

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« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2014, 06:15:56 PM »

How may times do you get asked "what's wrong?" if you simply aren't smiling? 

Oh, pretty much every day! It's always my fault, of course.
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mstnghu
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« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2014, 06:19:10 PM »

Another thing my wife yells at me for is coughing and sneezing when I have a cold! Ironically, she's always "sick" and every time she is she coughs non-stop... .of course I could criticize her the way she does to me when I cough, but we all no how well that will turn out. 
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Flora73
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« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2014, 07:36:47 PM »

I get constant agro for leaving the toilet seat down... .she likes it up... .

Even to the point of placing sticky notes on the lid to remind me?
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Bear60

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« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2014, 08:20:35 PM »

How may times do you get asked "what's wrong?" if you simply aren't smiling? 

Yep, then I also get to hear how everyone else is saying something to her about it and how she has to "make excuses" for me. I want to ask her if she ever said it was because she was making life miserable?

If I simply change positions in a chair she will jump me about where I am going... .no where, just moving... .

How dare I be human and get tired?  It doesn't even stop there. There are all sorts of "bodily functions" that I do that everybody does, but for me it's not ok. I can't even go to the bathroom in the morning without her making some sort of rude comment about it. It's absurd.

I will step away from her to pass gas and she will follow and then make a fuss about it... .The honeymoon is over... .Maybe I should just sit in the chair beside her and lift my leg.
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mstnghu
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« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2014, 11:37:32 AM »

How may times do you get asked "what's wrong?" if you simply aren't smiling? 

Yep, then I also get to hear how everyone else is saying something to her about it and how she has to "make excuses" for me. I want to ask her if she ever said it was because she was making life miserable?

If I simply change positions in a chair she will jump me about where I am going... .no where, just moving... .

How dare I be human and get tired?  It doesn't even stop there. There are all sorts of "bodily functions" that I do that everybody does, but for me it's not ok. I can't even go to the bathroom in the morning without her making some sort of rude comment about it. It's absurd.

I will step away from her to pass gas and she will follow and then make a fuss about it... .The honeymoon is over... .Maybe I should just sit in the chair beside her and lift my leg.

I can completely relate on all counts. My wife is always telling me about "all the things people notice and say about me" when I'm not around. Apparently, all of her friends and family talk badly about me behind my back. Of course, it's ridiculous and the only person coming up with all this crazy negativity about me is actually just her. Back on Memorial Day, we went to a BBQ at one of her co-worker's house. On the drive over there, she lectured me about not embarrassing her because all of her friends have already made a bunch of negative comments to her about how I act.

I also can't even go to another room at home without her asking me where I'm going and what I'm doing.
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tayana
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« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2014, 11:46:16 AM »

WOW, yes!  Mine is always telling me how I feel about this or that, and if I sigh it can't just be to relieve stress, no there is definitely something wrong.  If we are cuddling on the couch and I move I am disturbing her comfort, even though I have bad hips and they are hurting.  If I hear, "I know you are mad, what are you made about... ." one more time, I might scream.  Half the time, I'm not mad.  Or if she thinks I'm upset about something she'll keep needling me until I am because she keeps annoying me.  Sometimes I just invent things to keep her happy. 

Excerpt
Yep, then I also get to hear how everyone else is saying something to her about it and how she has to "make excuses" for me. I want to ask her if she ever said it was because she was making life miserable?

Yes, Yes.  She always has to "make excuses" for me and my oldest son.  She always has to explain why I'm upset or why I look angry or why I didn't go to church or something.  If I really am upset with her, I'm not allowed to express those feelings anyway, so I'm not sure why she cares so much.  She says I sit around with my "pissy face" all the time, even though I'm not mad or upset and that's just the way my face looks.  She constantly tells me I need to watch my expressions and body language because people are thinking that I don't want to be places and that I'm always mad.
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bruceli
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« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2014, 01:54:59 PM »

I've found that pwBPD are quite in tune to body language and facial expression.  They are constantly trying to interpret other people's moods based on body language. How may times do you get asked "what's wrong?" if you simply aren't smiling?  It's part of their constant search for clues that the world is evil and everyone is out to get them.  I have yet to be given grief for yawning, but sighing for sure! I've also been given crap for sneezing and chewing too loud.  To combat this, I started saying "that's gross" every time she burped.  Finally one day she said, "you really are just saying that so that I will quit making comments about you sneezing and chewing."  Yep!

Chewing loudly was a huge rage trigger for PDexGF.
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tayana
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« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2014, 02:00:27 PM »

Mine rages over any mouth sound.
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vortex of confusion
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« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2014, 03:48:22 PM »

Yes, I can relate to this. If I had a nickle for every time I was asked "What's wrong?", I would be rich. LOL.

I was doing the dishes one day and was looking out the window and started smiling. I don't even really recall smiling. It was more of a reflex. He comes in and starts asking me what I am smiling about.

And sighs almost always draw attention. He likes to sit on the other end of the couch from me. Sometimes, I will prop my legs up on him and sometimes I don't. It really depends on how my legs and knees are feeling. If I don't put them on him, he offers to get up and get out of my way so I can stretch out. I hate having my moves interpreted by somebody else because then I feel like I have to be careful not to do certain things because I can't stand having people nitpick every little thing that I do.
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