Should I have told my son about my stbx's behaviour?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I tried to talk to my son (21) about his dad this evening but failed miserably.

I wanted him to know how badly my stbx is behaving around our divorce (posting girlfriends on facebook, cutting off money to us, unpleasant emails, etc etc). Usual BPD behaviour, only I didnt tell him he has BPD.

However, my son has clearly been told a pack of lies by his dad. He became very defensive. Insisted that his dad had met someone only recently, ie, long after we split, and point blank refused to believe this affair had been going on for years and contributed to our breakup. Said I should stop stalking him on facebook, get over it, sell the house and move on. It was very upsetting so I just dropped it. Perhaps I was asking too much of him.

Does anyone have any insights - should I have brought it up? I feel I handled it badly but at least I got it out there. And I guess my son will have taken something in even if he didn't like what he heard. I just don't want him following the same awful behaviour... .

[toomanytears]

I tried to talk to my son (21) about his dad this evening but failed miserably.

I wanted him to know how badly my stbx is behaving around our divorce (posting girlfriends on facebook, cutting off money to us, unpleasant emails, etc etc). Usual BPD behaviour, only I didnt tell him he has BPD.

However, my son has clearly been told a pack of lies by his dad. He became very defensive. Insisted that his dad had met someone only recently, ie, long after we split, and point blank refused to believe this affair had been going on for years and contributed to our breakup. Said I should stop stalking him on facebook, get over it, sell the house and move on. It was very upsetting so I just dropped it. Perhaps I was asking too much of him.

Does anyone have any insights - should I have brought it up? I feel I handled it badly but at least I got it out there. And I guess my son will have taken something in even if he didn't like what he heard. I just don't want him following the same awful behaviour... .