Got contacted today

[Zpinal]

Reading most of the horror stories on this board, I think I got it easy. Here is my intro: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=232535.0 

Today she contacted me over Facebook to see how I was doing, how my course was going and in the end wished me well... .She left me for my replacement almost a month ago, our r/s was short (about 4 months) and we never even had a fight, she just... .left. I keep a passive non contact in the likes of I do not call/text/email her. I unfollowed and turned chat off on FB, licked my wounds and in the process to move on with my life.

I am wondering about the sincerity of her message, did she figure out when we were together that I am a very lucid guy that would not have put up with the crap many of you went through and decided to leave before I do and just want to keep some kind of peaceful contact? or is her new White Knight starts to have to black paint droplets on his shiny armor and she is checking out to see if I would be a possible recycling candidate... .I'd like to hear your experience about this type of behavior.

[Confused?]

Could be validation or possible recycle attempt in future. Remember it's hard for BPD to keep loved ones around because they hurt the ones they love most. Keeping contact even as disrespectful as it is to the new supply is a form of validation and ego boost to them. If you say you are doing great then she thinks she never hurt you. If you say you are depressed then she knows she means a lot to you and still has hooks. Every move they make is a calculated attempt to fill their self confidence. Remember it is never about you it is always about them.

[Lights843]

Could be validation or possible recycle attempt in future. Remember it's hard for BPD to keep loved ones around because they hurt the ones they love most. Keeping contact even as disrespectful as it is to the new supply is a form of validation and ego boost to them. If you say you are doing great then she thinks she never hurt you. If you say you are depressed then she knows she means a lot to you and still has hooks. Every move they make is a calculated attempt to fill their self confidence. Remember it is never about you it is always about them.

As someone who was contacted recently after strict NC, I needed to read this today. Thank you.  

[Zpinal]

Could be validation or possible recycle attempt in future. Remember it's hard for BPD to keep loved ones around because they hurt the ones they love most. Keeping contact even as disrespectful as it is to the new supply is a form of validation and ego boost to them. If you say you are doing great then she thinks she never hurt you. If you say you are depressed then she knows she means a lot to you and still has hooks. Every move they make is a calculated attempt to fill their self confidence. Remember it is never about you it is always about them.

Yeah I am not sure if there is already trouble in paradise with the loser she dumped me for. She was supposed to go back to school and change career but after she left me, she moved in with that guy less than a week into her new r/s and found a job in that town. This poor fella has no clue what kind of storm is coming his way. When she was with me, her pdoc wanted her to follow a Behavior Cognitive Therapy, I wasn't aware at the time but she told me after the first appointment that they told her she didn't need that. Now I know it was a flat out LIE.

She wasn't only BPD(which quite hard to deal with) she is also Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling, ADHD and suffers from Hyper Anxiety, the cocktail of meds shes taking would knock a horse out. I hit the «jackpot» when it comes to date someone so gravely afflicted and I am now capable to detach myself and look at it from the outside. I realized that she did me a favor ending it before she turned nasty. It did hurt like hell but a couple friends of mine who are working in the mental health field, this forum and another site that we are not allowed to mention here helped me greatly to understand what the heck happened.

The fact that she inquired about how I was doing seems to be testing the field for a future recycle, I had to resist the urge to tell her to f-off. But I am the mentally sane individual and my commun sense prevented me from putting myself in a confrontation that would only give her material to twist around and make me the bad guy.

[Infern0]

Sounds like you went through a similar situation to me. In my case though she drifted off and I thought go to hell then. Then she contacted me I got put into triangulation for a month,  And let me tell you that was when I went from having issues to actually questioning my sanity.

If you know that you don't want to be involved anymore then stick to the NC. 

I always say the same thing to myself.  The only thing that would make me consider breaking NC is if she sent me an APOLOGY for the way she did me in. But that is far too reasonable and selfless for her to ever do.

[willy45]

You dodged a bullet. Keep dodging! Be like that dude in the matrix, go slow and see the bullets for what they are. Seriously man, I had 7 years plus 2 1/2 years post break up. A decade... .Run away. You'll be fine.

[AlwaysForgiving]

Could be validation or possible recycle attempt in future. Remember it's hard for BPD to keep loved ones around because they hurt the ones they love most. Keeping contact even as disrespectful as it is to the new supply is a form of validation and ego boost to them. If you say you are doing great then she thinks she never hurt you. If you say you are depressed then she knows she means a lot to you and still has hooks. Every move they make is a calculated attempt to fill their self confidence. Remember it is never about you it is always about them.

Wow! I going to print this out, frame it and hang it on the wall so I can look at it every time I need it.