My T said to me that she will find someone that works for her, and I believe it. Someone who ticks all the right boxes, and somehow can manage her craziness without falling apart.
After 3 years of marriage counselling, our counsellor also recommended we divorce.
I think mine would definitely find someone, but I think it would be another empath, who falls in love with their own image, and realises somewhere down the line that it's all a light show.
They have a serious mental disorder, why would a healthy individual go into an unhealthy relationship to manage the craziness, unless it is a qualified psychologist looking for a personal project.
I actually know psychologist PhD who made a conscious choice to marry one 16 years ago, actually knowing what he was going into. I guess thinking he could handle it. He's falling apart right now, and is not happy at all. The façade is there but I know the truth behind it.
14 years I made an un-knowing choice to marry someone who was like me, had the same values, ambitions and behaviours. Actually it was me, looking at the mirror of a BPD/NPD spouse. Then things changed... .
"how to get them there" sounds controlling to me. they get there when they want to get there. our roles as care givers has ended when the r\s between us and them died. remember you can not save anyone. this is the hallmark of my lesson from this r\s.
True, but we can lead a move to "healthy" and give them the option to follow and choose it, or leave to choose "unheathy", or "healthy" with someone else. If we give them the freedom to choose, then it is showing them the respect we seek for ourselves.
