Memory and state of confusion

[freedom33]

Guys,

I need some advice here as I am starting to gettting a bit worried about my memory and overall state of confusion. My memory and orientation has never been great, since I was a kid sometimes my mind would drift, but lately during the last stages of my rs with my ex and now during the last 6 weeks NC my memory has gone missing and basically I am not present and focused at all. I am very forgetful, I go to a room sometimes and forget what I wanted to do, I have gotten on the wrong underground train a few times, just generally lost and not present. Life on the autopilot... .Then the other day my vision out of the sudden got blurry and couldn't see clearly for 10-15 minutes. Maybe due to stress and anxiety and being tired (I can't sleep well lately either). I started worrying that I might have a disease or something e.g. multiple sclerosis or something. I don't know. Is this due to anxiety and depression? Has anyone been feeling like this? Thanks for sharing.

[tim_tom]

stress reeks havoc on your body and mental faculties

[enlighten me]

Hi Freedom

Yes been there myself.

At the end of the relationship I was questioning my memory as she kept on contradicting herself then having me believe that it was me that had got things wrong. When it happens so often you start believing it.

After the relationship I think its to do with a number of things. The elevated level of stress, the lack of sleep, having them take up so many of your thoughts that theres not enough room for anything else and finally just not giving a damn. The fact that I want to relax and not think of things has left me mentally lethargic.

What I do now is use the notepad on my phone for writing lists of things to do or get. Im slowly switching my mind back on but lack the motivation at the moment.

[freedom33]

Thanks guys. I was talking earlier to some people at a work related event (potential clients). I just sat there and didn't know what to say or probably wasn't interested in the topic. I am not interested in anything. I have no real opinions and I feel like I am a complete dumb. People talk 80-90% of the time and I just sit there and listen. I am just not present at all and people keep fckng my ears and I just sit there listening. Sometimes on top of that when I talk sometimes one might interrupt and I get really pissed off. In the event this woman that was talking all the time interrupted me while we were talking together and I continued talking over her and we both kept going, talking on top of each other. Surreal... .I never noticed this before interruption thing before. I am wondering if this is this because I am not present and people take up space or because I am just a lot more sensitive now. I am also wondering how much of my current situation and problems are innate and how much is related to my xBPDgf relationship fallout (NC 6 weeks) and its consequences.

[Bak86]

Blurry vision and bad sleep patterns sounds familiar. I have that when i'm stressed. I had a burnout in december/january(due to work). Didn't know i was stressed, but i recognize the symptoms now. Just try to do something relaxing.

[BlackHoleSun]

I've had a bit of this too Freedom. Little mental blocks where i've not been able to remember what i'm talking about mid-sentence or i'll just forget what i'm supposed to be doing!

More worrying than that for me is my emotions are all over the place. One minute i feel down, the next i'll think about her and miss her, an hr later i feel really happy almost euphoric, then i'm glad she's gone, next i sort of feel bored of everything. Its pretty freaky!

[Infern0]

Hey freedom.

It might be like myself you have had a nervous breakdown. In fact it's extremely likely. Have a look into it. My mother always used to say "I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown" well I went one stage further and actually had one. I thought they were like an urban myth but they aren't and they are no joke.

For me it was the same,  I had zero interest in anything,  could not focus,  kept forgetting.

I highly recommend get some time off work and go and stay with some positive people who care about you and understand.

For me it did wonders,  I went and stayed with a relative who basically fed me up,  and took care of me for about 10 days.

I did nothing except go for walks,  started to watch some movies etc. I got sleeping and eating right and started to feel human again.

[jayboy336]

Thanks guys. I was talking earlier to some people at a work related event (potential clients). I just sat there and didn't know what to say or probably wasn't interested in the topic. I am not interested in anything. I have no real opinions and I feel like I am a complete dumb. People talk 80-90% of the time and I just sit there and listen. I am just not present at all and people keep fckng my ears and I just sit there listening. Sometimes on top of that when I talk sometimes one might interrupt and I get really pissed off. In the event this woman that was talking all the time interrupted me while we were talking together and I continued talking over her and we both kept going, talking on top of each other. Surreal... .I never noticed this before interruption thing before. I am wondering if this is this because I am not present and people take up space or because I am just a lot more sensitive now. I am also wondering how much of my current situation and problems are innate and how much is related to my xBPDgf relationship fallout (NC 6 weeks) and its consequences.

I completely understand what you are going through. In my daily experience, I have no desire to really do anything. Anything that was enjoyable just is not anymore. When my family talks to me, Its like I am in another world. Completely zoned out. I am sure it has a lot to do with being stressed, depressed and constantly ruminating about the past. From what I hear, it does get better. Just hang in there and keep getting the help and support you need

[pieceofme]

I completely understand what you are going through. In my daily experience, I have no desire to really do anything. Anything that was enjoyable just is not anymore. When my family talks to me, Its like I am in another world. Completely zoned out. I am sure it has a lot to do with being stressed, depressed and constantly ruminating about the past. From what I hear, it does get better. Just hang in there and keep getting the help and support you need

i echo this sentiment! i have been experiencing the same - completely zoned out, unable to focus or listen. i am exhausted, i think from my mind constantly working / ruminating on the breakup. when the mind is in a constant state of action (ie, trying to make sense or resolve problems), it takes a toll on our bodies.

[Hopeless777]

Same here and I run my own business. I had to see a P and he put me on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety polls, and sleeping pills. Now instead of functioning at 25% I feel I'm at maybe 50%. Reconciliation/mediation day is Tuesday. My deposition was last Monday. I've basically been a wreck all week, barely working, just sleeping and ruminating and working on legal junk. The pills keep me relatively centered, but at a spaced out cost. I'm trying to save a 28 year marriage and having a very difficult time. Yeah, I read the book Splitting. God knows by now I've read them all. This is not the way life was supposed to end.

[myself]

Part of it may be due to detoxing from a tense situation. From change. There may be extra stress, extra sensitivity and/or lack of focus, in the short term, while your heart and brain are working overtime to figure things out. There will also be a gradual release of tension as you understand more, let go of more, and relax into your new reality. I went through a similar process. But I'm not a doctor, so if you feel you need a physical check up, please go.

[Tibbles]

I've been in this type of state a couple of times too. I figure its all part of the stress, anxiety etc. The mind gets to a state where its had enough and can't take any more of anything in so it just sort of shuts down. Meditation and mindfulness are the only things I've found to help, but ironically when I'm like this I can't slow my mind to meditate!