Breakup with very young children

[clydegriffith]

Started dating BPD and she became pregnant very shortly thereafter. Everything appeared fine during the pregnancy but a few months after child was born it came to surface. I was suddenly being demonized for petty things when i had been on a pedestal up to that point. I was falsely accused of domestic violence multiple times which led to me having to leave my apartment and still have to pay rent for it because she had my child there. Would call me crying saying she was sorry as soon as i got out of jail and use sex to try and win me over. She's a sex addict and was cheating on me with pretty much anyone that looked her way ( i know of at least 10 in just a year and a half span) and this nightmare all came to an end when i became aware of this and caught her with one of my friends. Well, almost came to an end. There's still that child we have. While a part of me wishes i can just walk away and start over and have a family with someone normal that i can really love i know that's not feasible. I barely see my child as she had to move 8 hours away after the breakup but pay a substantial amount of child support ($700 monthly plus another $150 for health insurance). I love my daughter but i feel bad for feeling the way i do and wish she came to be from a more trditional relationship and not the giant mess this was. While i can't say i loved the BPD, i did care for her and tried to do the right thing when she told me she was pregnant but it turns out that when she messes up her life, she finds  a guy to have a kid with to try and start over and it doesn't pan out. She's up to 4 kids in 6 years by 3 guys so i have little hope of seeing her get better any time soon.

[Mutt]

Hi clydegriffith,

I understand. You went through a lot in your r/s w a pwBPD. You faced DV charges and she cheated on you with multiple partners and your friend. You're paynh child support and barely see your child. That's tough. I understand questioning ourselves is she going to get better? Maybe or maybe not, she'll have to sense that there's something off with her. BPD is part of her personality. You grew up with your personality and it's your reality. It's the same for her a reality she knows and is very real.