I never heard of SET until 6 months ago, so I know SET is for us, and will not change them, but hopefully help us not to take things so personally, though we are under attack and could ease the situation while acknowledging their pain but not accepting their abuse. I know this means sometimes leaving the situation until they become more calm (Who knows) while trying to still have their respect and create boundaries. Not easy from what I understand.
Hi outside9x,
I use SET in every day life. I use it at work with co-workers that I know are passive aggressive via communicator or e-mails etc. Or co-workers that have difficult personalities. I use it on friends, family and my kids and it's to say that the people in my life are difficult.
I use it on uBPDex sometimes in email communiques to sort of smooth out the edges when we're dealing with the kids. It doesn't always work. If she's dysregulated I let her soothe herself first and I'll send the message later. Her feelings are facts and not facts then feelings. It validates what she feels and you can say your truth in your message.
It's an effective way to get your message or truth across without sounding invalidating and shows empathy and support. You can get to the T but it's a less triggering way of getting there.
