I think love addiction is ingrained in our culture. When we listen to songs on the radio or even watch movies, it's riddled with people who are not whole and are seeking a mate to fill the void. When it goes bad, we get resentful and angry. It's an interesting cycle. Partially because looking within yourself after the dust has settled is so foreign and frightening. We don't want to blame ourselves for the end of a relationship. We always forget that it takes two people in a relationship. It's not an addiction that is talked about very much. I had a friend point it out to me after watching a documentary and it had me going, "Hmmmm... .this could absolutely be me". I used to just think I was a hopeless romantic.
Do you know what that documentary was called? I'd love to see it! I agree, every song, every romance movie... .so dysfunctional!
I got into this cycle when it came to relationships: Being alone, I was starting to see excitement for myself and my own development. I was starting to really like myself and realize my possibilities were endless! Then, BAM! I ended up in a relationship and everything was a compromise. Not all of them were as negative and exhausting as my BPD Ex. I came to realize that every relationship I was in was an attempt to keep someone happy without getting to the next level of my true potential. Maybe they weren't the right one for me, because I was still growing rapidly and I didn't know myself. I'd get a little resentful. I always felt there was something missing. I think it was me! LOL
I can relate to this, I have experienced something similar. Too much compromise!
This time around it's going to be different. Partially because that epiphany was like a lightning bolt. If you want to hitch your wagon to me? No way, I am not pulling anyone else along the way. Pull your wagon next to me and let's fully experience everything together.
I really love this!
