do they ever remember?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I did a lot for my exBPD long before we ended up in a relationship. Saved his neck time and time again helped him sort his housing, apply for benefits so he had money, pass driving test, court stuff blah blah.  All this was  BEFORE we were in a deep friendship which became a relationship. He's split me black now and replaced me but will he ever remember those times before we were emotionally involved and miss that sort of support I gave him? I realise there can be no friendship between us but I guess I want to feel that even though he hates me he might appreciate my part in his life before we were in a relationship

[merlin4926]

I did a lot for my exBPD long before we ended up in a relationship. Saved his neck time and time again helped him sort his housing, apply for benefits so he had money, pass driving test, court stuff blah blah.  All this was  BEFORE we were in a deep friendship which became a relationship. He's split me black now and replaced me but will he ever remember those times before we were emotionally involved and miss that sort of support I gave him? I realise there can be no friendship between us but I guess I want to feel that even though he hates me he might appreciate my part in his life before we were in a relationship

[camuse]

Sadly, I'm not sure they remember anything good once you are black. But I think they do remember you. Mine talked of her exes all the time, but never in a positive way - they all ended up hating her for no reason and abusing her. Of course, they probably didn't - they were probably normal people pushed to their limits, abused, discarded just as we were. That's how they will think of you now. That's very sad, but it's how they cope.

Part of me was tempted to contact her exes and hear their stories, but there was no point really. It's hard to accept, but it's the best thing - accept them for what they are, feel sorry for them and move on. Let them rewrite history in their minds, you know the truth.