When you find out replacement is famous and in semi porn... there's no words.

[sirensong65]

Well, that's it, folks.  I am tapping out.  After hours off pouring over the internet, seeing this skank and what she constitutes as her "professional" gig, I want to vomit.

Not to mention she looks like she may have been a man at some point.  And my Ex is SO proud to have her splashed all over his facebook (so I am told) and she is raving over him on her Fanpage, Instagram, Facebook, etc.

I lived with this man.  I was supposed to marry him.  I let him around my kids.  He had asked me with tears in his eyes one day to start going to church with him.  This girl earns a living selling videos of herself being dominated, tied up and licking her own feet... .classy.  Oh, and don't forget the homemade candles this F_ _ King freak makes when she isn't also selling vids of her squeezing lotion down her ass crack.  His deceased mother would be SO proud!

And the best part.  She says flat out that she TOO is bi polar.  It's a match made in crazytown heaven.

No wonder he bailed on me.  I wasn't a freak and a ___.  To my knowledge, no one can jump on Google and catch a glimpse of the ole' honey hole.  What a drag... .

[Waifed]

Sorry you have to experience this. I had nightmares about stuff like this. It wouldn't totally surprise me if my ex did something like this. They just really don't know who they are and just kind of wonder through life aimlessly. It's sad really, but it isn't a reflection of who we are. Try not to follow what your ex is doing. Nothing good can come of it. The best way you can heal is to put space between the two of you.

[fromheeltoheal]

I too am sorry you're going through those feelings around him; it's part of processing and healing, so make sure and feel it all the way as you purge yourself of him.

The situation does illuminate the disorder some too: an attachment is an attachment to a borderline, someone to merge with psychically to feel whole, and it doesn't matter who, as long as it's someone.  And throw in the unstable sense of self, and borderlines don't have a "type" beyond someone available to the attach to.

Doesn't matter.  My ex lost out bigtime not being able to keep me around, then again she literally doesn't know what she missed, and would never be capable of meeting my needs anyway.  I'm sure the same is true for you.  Take care of you!

[clydegriffith]

I always that the BPDx was like having my own pornstar because all she wanted to do was have crazy sex all the time. As much fun as that was, it most certainly was not worth the craziness that came along with it, at least not for me. I'm sure the guys she bangs NSA have no problem doing so since all the bad stuff is reserved is reserved for whoever she's victimizing. If she didn't have a million kids i'm pretty sure she would have either done porn or be a stripper.

[sirensong65]

Actually, now that the shock has worn off, I don't know why I was so surprised.  I had said afterward to friends that he will only be able to function in a faux type relationship with someone else who can't be faithful, he feels bad about themselves to and has a warped perception of the world as well.  I gave him stable and loving and he couldn't handle it.  I guess I should actually pity them. This is a trainwreck in the making... two halves trying to make a whole.  Good luck with that.

I am relieved though to see the trash that he is now that we are split than for him to have gone through with the marriage.

He lied and cheated through the ENTIRE relationship.  But he DID make three statements during the course of the relationship that were completely true:

I don't know who I am and feel lost.

I can't be who I really am with you (this one REALLY resonates for me this morning, in a stomach churning way).

I have never been able to feel deeply or get attached to anyone.  I don't know how to love.

Thank God he is not in my life anymore.  I shutter to think what we was capable of if he had stayed and pretended to be "all in".

[Mutt]

You're too good for him sirensong65.