Let's just say that when our exes BPD left us but did not cut us off with ST ?

[guy4caligirl]

Would it made a difference in  the way we dealt with the brake up ?

Would they saved us some unneeded pain and hurt ?

[Mutt]

Would it made a difference in  the way we dealt with the brake up ?

Would they saved us some unneeded pain and hurt ?

guy,

I'm not sure that I understand the title.

Do you mean that they broke-up with us and kept talking to us?

My ex left and went radio silent. It cut to the core because I felt like I had no voice. I'm not sure if it's less or more painful. I think pain quantifies as pain in these difficult break-ups.

She also broke-up with me because I couldn't bare to break-up because of my co-dependency. The writing was on the wall for a considerable amount of time in my case.


--Mutt

[Blimblam]

Personally I don't think so. I think it has to do with the nature of the attachment between us and our exs and the internal conflict it created within us.  Even if we remain in contact with our exs working through the internal conflict the interaction created in us is not something they really want to work through with us so that internal conflict will remain. We served them as an outlet for emotions they were unable to regulate and untill they developed a level of self awareness to work through that within themself they are unavailable to do that for someone else when it involves their own emotional turmoil that they projected and dissasociates from for us to process.

[guy4caligirl]

Would it made a difference in  the way we dealt with the brake up ?

Would they saved us some unneeded pain and hurt ?

guy,

I'm not sure that I understand the title.

Do you mean that they broke-up with us and kept talking to us?

My ex left and went radio silent. It cut to the core because I felt like I had no voice. I'm not sure if it's less or more painful. I think pain quantifies as pain in these difficult break-ups.

She also broke-up with me because I couldn't bare to break-up because of my co-dependency. The writing was on the wall for a considerable amount of time in my case.


--Mutt

Mutt what I am saying is , if they were not that ugly after the break up  and just answered our question  "why" ?

She broke up with me because I did not stand with her when treating my family or friends pretty bad  I stood with what was right. BTW I just got the book codependency no more that should  help me and no more contact I had enough of her lies .