Things I haven't said (in the interest of not JADE-ing)

[Elpis]

"Thank you for casting those aspersions on my character--I was afraid I might have too good of a day!"

"Your words smell like farts cuz you're talkin' outta your ass."

Other thoughts?

Oh--and after his text that he'd just talked to the pastor at the church I've started attending, "So, did you straighten him out about me?"

Elpis

[Aussie JJ]

Your lack of accountability disgusts me. 

I find you repulsive. 

You study psychology yet you don't know yourself.  Help me understand that. 

[HappyNihilist]

You do have a choice, you know. You are not just a poor victim of malevolent external forces.

How about instead of always denigrating sex workers and the people who frequent them, you just 'fess up to banging hookers.

Can you not just let it f**king go already? (probably the one I wanted to say most)

[Elpis]

Yup, we have us some strong feelings!

What I wanted to say 3 minutes ago when uBPDh was telling me how awful I am for not wanting to talk to him:

"GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY!"

And the tightness comes to my chest, and my breathing is shallow, and I think my head may explode... .I really hate the way I feel when he is pushing-pushing-pushing!

[Deeno02]

Mine doesnt contact me at all. Tied up with the replacement. If I had only one thing to say if i could, it would be a short, sweet... .FU*K YOU!

Thats it... .

[billypilgrim]

You are crazy.

Could you blow this any more out of proportion?

I'm going to put up cameras in this house so I can rewind film and show you how [x event/conversation] really happened.

Nope, you are right.  I really don't love you.  

Can you not just BE?

[Aussie JJ]

The one I decided would be the harshest would be to be kind, express what I would want to assist with instead of expressing sort of i dont know, discust and everything else.  Thats still ther however I know thats just the black and white thinking and in itself isnt healthy. 

What I want to say the most out of everything. 

If I could give you one thing in the whole world it would be the strength to sit with those thoughts, without fear and without pain.  It would be to give you the life your missing out on.  No projection, no blame or shame.  If I could give you the ability to work through that without the fear and pain that is assosiated I would give you the greatest gift of all.  Freedom.  If you could see the strength I see in you, if you saw that in yourself I know you could do this. 

More than one line, however those thoughts mostly sum up my pain at being 'inadequate' or 'not good enough' to assist i suppose.  Funny how it all comes back to me.   


AJJ. 

[Elpis]

What I want to say the most out of everything. 

If I could give you one thing in the whole world it would be the strength to sit with those thoughts, without fear and without pain.  It would be to give you the life your missing out on.  No projection, no blame or shame.  If I could give you the ability to work through that without the fear and pain that is assosiated I would give you the greatest gift of all.  Freedom.  If you could see the strength I see in you, if you saw that in yourself I know you could do this. 

SUCH a better person than me! i'm still not able to totally separate my reactions to him from him. I do desire his healing, he has a lot to offer really--I just can't be with him for my own mental health.

However THIS

Could you blow this any more out of proportion?

sounds a lot more like me!

And Deeno, I feel ya, I do... .