Merry Christmas

[Taylor312]

Hello,

This is my first time here. I've been in a relationship off and on with a girlfriend BPD for the last 3.5 years. We were actually together 2.5 of those 3.5 years. We had multiple break ups and it was a roller coaster to say the least. Everytime we were apart, I felt like I couldn't go on as it felt I needed her for everything. However, when we were together, I knew something was wrong and that I needed to get out. I was always on eggshells, not knowing what I was going to get. It felt like I was dating two different people. It kills me as I feel I was in love with the charming, loving person that I became very close with. But the other side was horrible where I would always get sick, be stressed and felt completely lost. We are apart now and she will not respond to me. Although I'm not sure why I keep reaching out as in my heart I know it never works. But I miss her.  Holy crap it's so messed up. Thanks for reading :-)

[EaglesJuju]

Hi Taylor,

  I am happy that you found us.  I am sorry that you have had a difficult time with your relationship.     Walking on eggshells can be really frustrating, as well as coping with your significant other's ever changing behavior. 

I can understand how hard is it to be apart and feel really confused on whether to continue to reach out.    I felt really lost and confused when my person with BPD left. 

You mentioned that you are not sure why you keep reaching out.  Do you want to continue trying to reach out?  Do you want to move on?  What would you like to do? 

[neverloveagain]

Hi taylor  , im 8 months nc maintained and this is my first christmas in 10 years without my waif ex. Its been hard but i have my best friends at hand and family and i thankful today of all the small things i hope you stay resolute and strong. You yourself are key to your happiness time will bring that. Next year is your year to change things stay positive it will get better.