Hi Taylor,
I am happy that you found us. I am sorry that you have had a difficult time with your relationship. Walking on eggshells can be really frustrating, as well as coping with your significant other's ever changing behavior.
I can understand how hard is it to be apart and feel really confused on whether to continue to reach out. I felt really lost and confused when my person with BPD left.
You mentioned that you are not sure why you keep reaching out. Do you want to continue trying to reach out? Do you want to move on? What would you like to do?