Nobody to talk with yet - thinking of contacting ex-wife for emotional support

[nowwhatz]

Well this lonely detachment vigil is, as you know, really crappy but worth it in the long run.

I am trying to treat myself as if I just had back surgery or something. I will need to stay busy, occupied and social but don't want to push the pain under a rock... .I want to face it and get through it without it being debilitating.

My ex-wife is in a happy marriage to a good guy and she and I are actually friends. I am friends with her husband also. She is the stepmom to my kids and is a good listener and has been supportive of me in other areas.

Without anyone to talk to I was thinking of giving her a call but am not sure if I should just wait to get an appointment with a T.

[Elpis]

What did you decide?

[cehlers55]

I would say talk to a therapist. Sounds like a lot going on and I Think less contact with the ex if your relationship was of the quality that led you to this website. Lots of pain you're dealing with.

[nowwhatz]

I have decided for now to leave it be and not contact the ex wife about the exBPDgf. 

I'm feeling a little better tonight about the breakup with the BPDgf... .especially after her message to me asking for me to buy her sodas (diet cherry dr pepper) and cigarettes.

Maybe that item I can share with the ex-wife as it is kind of funny.

I agree I have to much going on and too much pain to talk to the ex-wife.  I'll have to set up a visit with a therapist.

[Elpis]

Meanwhile you can come here and talk to us!

[ucmeicu2]

sorry i don't know your story ~ is your ex-wife the pwBPD in your life?  if so, you might want to write this "Narc Plan" that i found somewhere on the internet out on a sticky note and tape it to your bathroom mirror like i did.  and read it every day, as often as needed.  (and yes, a narc plan applies to pwBPD, as all borderlines are narcisstic, usually very much so, sometimes enough to get a co-morbid Dx of NPD):

1) get out of dodge

2) don't look back

3) deal with your pain on your own

icu2

Well this lonely detachment vigil is, as you know, really crappy but worth it in the long run... .My ex-wife is in a happy marriage to a good guy and she and I are actually friends. I am friends with her husband also. She is the stepmom to my kids and is a good listener and has been supportive of me in other areas... .Without anyone to talk to I was thinking of giving her a call but am not sure if I should just wait to get an appointment with a T.

[Deeno02]

I about died having to tell my ex wife about this, but I had to. My exgf is my sons Volleyball coach and our sons are friends and used to spend the night at each others place as kids sometimes do. My ex wife left me for the family friend 18 years of marriage so that was a big horse pill to swallow. Surprising to say, she was one of my biggest helpers during this. She wanted to whoop her ass for the stuff my exgf called mg daughter. Sometimes things arent always for the best, but sometimes a bond between ex spouses can help where you least expect it.