Feel Crazy

[KeepOnGoing]

Maybe she's not BPD. Maybe I'm the psychopath who quietly cyberstalked her and waited for her every text, phone call, and affirmation. Maybe she just kicked me to the curb because I'm the crazy one. Maybe she's the one who has healthy boundaries. Maybe she's healthy, and I'm sick. Maybe I'm disordered. Sure seems like she's soaring like an eagle now.

[Perfidy]

You aren't crazy. They'll drag you into the nuthouse. You're fine.

[KeepOnGoing]

You aren't crazy. They'll drag you into the nuthouse. You're fine.

Thank you. Why can't I just be happy for her? Why can't I just not feel anything? I have that I still have feelings attached to her. I hate my life right now. I don't know how to stop obsessing.

[Infern0]

You arent cray, you've just been mind raped.

gonna take some time to recover, but you will.

Honestly towards the end of my R/S I think I lost it for a little while there, there is about a 2 month period that is all hazy, and i remember saying and doing some very stupid things.

It's the gaslighting that get's you in the end, especially if you are unaware you are being gaslit. it will screw your head up badly, but as i say you will heal, give it time and be patient with yourself

[finallyfreedom]

I've talked with a few people who have gone through relationships like this and I think we're all kinda in that place where we're scratching our heads thinking "Maybe I'm crazy?".

One pattern that always swims to the surface is that the *stuff* that happens in the relationships is the surreal kind of *stuff* you feel like you wouldn't believe it if you were hearing it from someone else.

I broke up with my exgf in September '14 and while I'm generally over her, my thoughts are still sometimes like a tongue with a missing tooth.

[KeepOnGoing]

It's been six months! We've talked only once in six months. How can this still have a pull on me? The person I thought I knew, her and myself included, are not real! The obsessing has got to stop, and I don't know how. I'm working with  a therapist, but feel nothing is getting any better.

[Perfidy]

Keep on going, it was real. That's the problem. Once you see something it can't be unseen. When something enters your consciousness it's there for eternity. You can't ever forget. What you can do is learn everything that there is to know about your self.

[KeepOnGoing]

Keep on going, it was real. That's the problem. Once you see something it can't be unseen. When something enters your consciousness it's there for eternity. You can't ever forget. What you can do is learn everything that there is to know about your self.

I'm trying. I'm doing everything I know to do, including therapy. But the mental obsession is just killing me!

[Perfidy]

Mindfulness. Be mindful of your thoughts. The rumination ends when you become the master. Be the master of your own mind. After all, it's yours.

[Perfidy]

It's ok and perfectly normal to feel the way you do. It's understandable that thought would torment you after what you've experienced.

Light blinds the eye. Sound deafens hearing. Flavor dulls taste. Thought weakens mind-

                                                                                                                          Lao Tzu


I began practicing mindfulness at the suggestion of a therapist. At first I noticed little change. Now everything is change. Change is good. Resistance to change is suffering. We all want to be happy and no one wants to suffer.