Saw a photo of her on Facebook

[cehlers55]

I saw a photo of her on facebook. She was with friends, looked happy. It made me happy knowing she wasn't miserable.

I wanted to click "like" on the photo but i didn't. We just broke up mid-November and I think it's too soon but I don't know. I wanted to like the photo so she knew i was happy for her. I just dont know how painted black I am from her. We were married 2.5 years. She's able to be the greatest person you've ever met or pretty seriously messed up when you're married to her.

We've been no contact since Mid-December. I just wanted to do a little something to let her know I am happy for her. Should i "Like" the photo?

[Deeno02]

No. Matter of fact, perhaps you shouldnt look if you dont have to. Easier that way in the long run. I made a mistake of doing the same. Caught hell for it. Not saying your ex would, but mine sure did. All in all, its your choice to do so, but for me, NC is just that. NC. I have blocked, deleted, reblocked, deleted again everything I could.

[cehlers55]

Thanks. I understand what you're saying. We have so many mutual friends together that i want things to be cool between the 2 of us. Reason being is I don't want our friends to have to choose sides. I think i would lose.

[Deeno02]

Thanks. I understand what you're saying. We have so many mutual friends together that i want things to be cool between the 2 of us. Reason being is I don't want our friends to have to choose sides. I think i would lose.

Its going to happen no matter. When you see the photo of her and the new guy, you'll understand. Sucks the life right out of you and hurt like hell. Thats why I choose not to.

[cehlers55]

Ah. I never thought about the new guy... .You're probably right.

Really stinks to lose friends in the deal. Hopefully my guy friends' wives "convince" them that being close friends with other women isn't the best idea.

I subscribe to that idea, some guys and gals i know don't. I cut friendships with women once i started dating my ex wife. Not in a mean way, that's just the extra respect i want to give my partner and what i'd like in return. Maybe I'm super jealous.

[Deeno02]

Ah. I never thought about the new guy... .You're probably right.

Really stinks to lose friends in the deal. Hopefully my guy friends' wives "convince" them that being close friends with other women isn't the best idea.

I subscribe to that idea, some guys and gals i know don't. I cut friendships with women once i started dating my ex wife. Not in a mean way, that's just the extra respect i want to give my partner and what i'd like in return. Maybe I'm super jealous.

As did I. She kept me from her friends though, so nothing lost there.

[JRT]

I am with Deeno on this one... .NC means NC at all... .some of this is a game, but you have to play it if you do or even if you do not... .to a BPD, contacting them gives them a sense of power over you and puts you on an uneven playing surface if you should ever reconnect or even TO reconnect... .contacting them, evidently, is a huge turn off ; part of the push/pull dynamic... .also part of that dynamic, is not contacting them may help compel contact (if that is what you really want). I have read many accounts here of a BPD that went dark or disappeared literally freaking out once they have realized that the non has cut them off or they themselves were replaced - even if they are with YOUR replacement.  

Notwithstanding, seeing the new guy OR just seeing her photo is enough to rip your 'sutures' out every time you go see her... .although its natural, I think, to be curious.

Mine blocked me, unfreinded my friends and convinced hers to unfriend me as well... .I don't have this problem,