I can't stop thinking about her

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I can't stop thinking about her and I'm still calling her and getting no answer, which I expected. Any advice on how to move on? I'm geographically separated from her nad it's very lonely where I'm at. Help!

[august west]

I can't stop thinking about her and I'm still calling her and getting no answer, which I expected. Any advice on how to move on? I'm geographically separated from her nad it's very lonely where I'm at. Help!

[Jmanster]

Welcome my friend... .I want to tell you that I am two weeks No Contact with my ex... .First lets put things in perspective... .DELETE HER NUMBER... .Why, you are allowing yourself to be attached to her... .she is cancerous and you are allowing the cancer to win instead of seeking treatment... .I learned the hard way... .after I broke up with my ex I thought a made a mistake and went back to her, but she didn't just take me back, she twisted my brain into a pretzel by playing mind games... .ignoring calls, posting pics of other guys on instagram etc and on top of that she was just using me for sex... .you have to let her go... .and the first step is to admit that she is poison... .when you do that, take a deep breath and meditate... .think about the break up and how she actually treated you... .the bad always outweighs the good when it comes to a borderline girlfriend or boyfriend... .you are a KING and she treated you like a PEASANT! Remember that! You are a king who needs a queen! She was not your queen but your dictator... .You deserve gold and you got sand... .Take care of yourself and DATE! Good luck my friend stay strong

[JRT]

Author... .you came to the right place... .the people that are on this forum are people that have been through this or are going through it same as you right now! The first thing that you need to know is that if she is really a BPD, that this is not your fault and it is nothing that you could have prevented from happening so go REALLY easy on yourself.

The second thing that you should probably do is to stop attempting to contact her. Doing this to a BPD is usually like throwing gasoline on a fire. There is a possibility that she will contact you, but the more that you try to compel her to do so, the more that you are going to push her away. You will need to mentally prepare yourself for a potentially long period. My ex's recycles sometimes lasted a few hours... .sometimes a few days... .other times weeks and now, it has been 3.5 months. I wish that I had better news for you on this front, but there is no other way around this for you. Sorry.

All of us have had that feeling like a million elephants sat on our hear and soul. It really hurts but it IS going to go away, I promise you that. There are things that you need to do preoccupy yourself so that you can move forward with healing. There are ideas on these pages and I will also be happy to share some of my successes if you would like.

I am not sure what will happen, I hope good things. But until then, you REALLY need to be strong and know that you WILL overcome this.

[Ghost733]

We're at war, solider; don't let the enemies in your mind take any more territory.

Also, the more you call her, the more she paints you black.  Go join a gym and get buff.  Go on duolingo and learn a new language.