Has anyone fell in love again with a pwBPD?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I have a question, I don't know if such thread has already been created so apologies if it was.

Is here anyone that after a break-up with a pwBPD fell in love/started a r/s again with a pwBPD?

Or it's like you're now more aware of the  s etc. and when you see such you just back off?

[inmate]

I have a question, I don't know if such thread has already been created so apologies if it was.

Is here anyone that after a break-up with a pwBPD fell in love/started a r/s again with a pwBPD?

Or it's like you're now more aware of the  s etc. and when you see such you just back off?

[Tim300]

I have a question, I don't know if such thread has already been created so apologies if it was.

Is here anyone that after a break-up with a pwBPD fell in love/started a r/s again with a pwBPD?

Or it's like you're now more aware of the  s etc. and when you see such you just back off?

For me it's the latter -- I am now more aware of the red flags for BPD and other PDs and I just back off.  To be honest, I could see myself maybe going out on a few days with a pwBPD at some point, mostly out of curiosity now that I know so much about BPD, but with no intention of allowing myself to fall in love.  I wouldn't be able to fall in love with a pwBPD at this point. 

I've also been distancing myself somewhat from platonic acquaintance with odd personality characteristics.  I think I've been drawn to interesting people who are sometimes a bit off -- and I'm very open minded.  However, through my experience with my BPDex-fiancee my eyes have been opened to PDs and how severe and dangerous they can be.  Accordingly, I'm going to be keeping some distance from people who might seem a bit too eccentric.  Sad conclusion perhaps, but it's the safe way to go.

[enlighten me]

Yep went from waif wife to queen exgf.

I thought I was getting someone different. More outgoing, confident and fun. Turns out underneath they were the same.

It happens a lot from what ive read on here.

[neverloveagain]

Only had 3 serious ltr in my life all 3 were waifs. Guess that means part of me is broken too.

[Infern0]

Yep went from waif wife to queen exgf.

I thought I was getting someone different. More outgoing, confident and fun. Turns out underneath they were the same.

It happens a lot from what ive read on here.

I had the exact opposite.  Queen/hpd to waif.

Thought I'd found someone who wasn't a party girl/slut and full of herself. Someone quiet and kind if a little depressed.

[enlighten me]

Yep went from waif wife to queen exgf.

I thought I was getting someone different. More outgoing, confident and fun. Turns out underneath they were the same.

It happens a lot from what ive read on here.

I had the exact opposite.  Queen/hpd to waif.

Thought I'd found someone who wasn't a party girl/slut and full of herself. Someone quiet and kind if a little depressed.

In a way it shows we were trying to avoid what we had dealt with before. Unfortunately I didnt know about BPD so I didnt realise  i was going for the same persanality just in a different wrapping. It makes me wonder if a BPD trait is what attracted me to both of them. Maybe it was that they both where so interested in me that did it.

Think I may get a t-shirt printed. " If your attracted to me you might want to see a therapist" "Because your probably nuts".

[Mr Hollande]

I was with my first BPD 15 years ago. Didn't love her and the pain after the break up wasn't because of heartache. Second BPD appeared close to ten years later. I loved her very much and it hurt. Still hurts. I only learned about the disorder in May shortly before it ended.

[neverloveagain]

 Someone quiet and kind if a little depressed.

/quote]

Oh yes the waif alright its super easy to get pulled into there webs if you dont pay attention to the quiet undertow within them. I think they leave the most damage in the nons mind when they flip the switch.

[FoolishMan]

Yep went from waif wife to queen exgf.

I thought I was getting someone different. More outgoing, confident and fun. Turns out underneath they were the same.

It happens a lot from what ive read on here.

I had the exact opposite.  Queen/hpd to waif.

Thought I'd found someone who wasn't a party girl/slut and full of herself. Someone quiet and kind if a little depressed.

Me too. Due to her best efforts, I discovered she was a party girl/slut AFTER I fell for her good girl act. For the first 5 months she never touched a drink or drugs, spoke bad about her pals for doing it etc. first B/U we had she was on cocaine from Friday to Sunday, noting in a text that she woke up in bed with her ex without being able to remember how or why. She assaulted him then ran back to me. I discovered this because she kept every text and PM on her phone going back four years and I read the whole thing in one horrible 1am to 7am stint. I still loved her though and took her back once more

[rarsweet]

I divorced a NPD husband and got a BPD boyfriend. After my divorce I pretty much thought hey if he isn't like my ex he must be OK. I was so so wrong. My ex husband and exboyfriend are so completely different behavior wise, but really the same motivation, the same goals, just different ways of getting there. And I don't know which is scarier, the methodical, planning, intelligent, conniving narc, or the unpredictable, emotional, violent BPD.

[Ripped Heart]

I was married to a high functioning pwNPD/BPD and then 2 years later ended up in a r/s with a low functioning pwBPD

Previous to both, I was in a 10 year r/s with someone who was extremely emotionally unstable but was never diagnosed with a PD (suspicions but very undecided)

It was on 3rd r/s that I realised that there was a pattern and the common person in all of these was me. Been in Therapy for a few months now to understand why I'm drawn to these types of r/s and a lot stems from my FOO. Have no doubt that my father was pwNPD and T suspects my mother has many BPD traits. I'm drawn to these relationships because I'm familiar with them, it's what I grew up knowing and understanding.