I feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football ...

[mallard3868]

I fell for it again! she said she was coming over and once again she had an excuse as to why she couldn't. I feel like Charlie Brown trying to kick that stupid football! Every time we make plans to be together we either get in a fight or one of her kids is in crises and she backs out.

A brief history: separated and moved out 8 mths ago from uBPDw of 2 years (dated for 5). Of course we are off/on again and again and I would do anything to keep our marriage together, but it just drags on and on... .

About 5 wks ago I tried to go NC (lasted apx. 10 days). I caved! We met and discussed really working on things and her going to intensive therapy etc (the moments of clarity are what draw me back in) ... .Well she couldn't get in to see her T for 5 weeks! That was a little odd to me, but what am I do to so things don't get heated yet again? In the mean time I try and be supportive and understanding etc... .Long story short, we make plans and she has something come up every time! This has been the last 4 or 5 times we have made plans. I get upset and then a week later we spend a great evening together. We plan another night for a few days later, BAM!, something comes up again with her kids and she cancels!

In the interim I get very ugly texts saying how I deserted her, how weak I am, how much she HATES my daughter... .I know she has been drinking (she is an alcoholic) so I usually bite my tongue and block her until the next morning. She forgets and/or simply doesn't acknowledge that the texting ever took place.

My question is how do I handle this and what do I do?

DO I end the cycle and just finally divorce her or do I hang in there and keep trying? I know this is a very broad question given the nature of the problem, but the emotional toll it is causing me is simply incredible! She is the love of my life, but she is sucking the soul out of my body and when it is over there may be nothing left!

Thanks for any help yall can offer and sorry for the rambling... .

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rockylove]

hey there.         there's nothing easy about all of this.  Your statement caught me... ."the emotional toll it is causing me is simply incredible! She is the love of my life, but she is sucking the soul out of my body and when it is over there may be nothing left!"  Is that how you want to live?  Just asking the question.  Only you will know the answer.