death threats

[rapror496]

I am now receiving death threats from her new boyfriend... .I already filed a report and will see what happens. I was doing better until now, I just want it to stop

[HappyNihilist]

rapror, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this from your exgf's new boyfriend.   I'm glad you filed a police report.

You've been NC with your exgf, am I right? Do you have any idea what prompted this behavior from her new bf?

[rapror496]

I think it's because she keeps telling him and her friends she still loves me. She broke no contact a couple of days ago to tell me she's moving out of state with him so I have no clue what's really going on

[ForeverDad]

Document it just in case you need the proof later.  It may all blow over, or it may get worse, you just don't know at this point.  Witnesses, written, email, text, web post, recording, etc.  If he denies it then you don't want it to become "he-said, she-said" (or whatever the respective genders are) that a judge could view it all as hearsay.

Needless to say, it's best to have no contact with her or as little as possible if you absolutely must.  With these acting-out PDs there usually isn't any closure from them (you have to Gift that to yourself) nor any ability to continue as "just friends".  Unless there are children from the relationship, "It's over" should mean precisely that.

I recorded my ex-spouse's rants and rages.  It never stopped and kept getting worse so I called 911 when she was making death threats.  I think I was almost carted off, the officer asked me to hand our sobbing preschooler over to his mother and 'step away'.  I never found out what that meant because he shrieked and clung even tighter to me.  What kid won't go to his mother?  The officer stared at me for a long moment, said "work it out" and they drove away.  Later I downloaded the recording and the officers arrested her for Threat of DV.  After a few continuances, we finally had the trial and she admitted to the threats but excused than as "the way we argue".  Um, not me!  The judge used state case law to rule, said she didn't have a weapon in her hands, therefore they were not "imminent" threats and he ruled she was not guilty.

I wonder why he ruled that way... .was it (1) we were married at the time? (2) we hadn't been in court before? (3) she was female and not the typical gender for DV perps?  In any case, I felt like he gave her the green light to make threats - as long as she was careful not to have a weapon in her hands.

My point is that without documentation - in my case it was a recording - my case would probably have gone nowhere.

Also, I recorded for additional reasons... .(1) to prove I was behaving well and (2) to prove I wasn't the one misbehaving.

[Waddams]

perhaps go apply for a restraining order against the guy?  even if it's denied, or if it's not made permanent at a hearing, it's on record and helps establish a documentable paper trail with the authorities.  could come in handy later.

what personal security measures have you taken?

[rapror496]

I'm living with my best friend at the moment, they have no idea where I am. His father is also the D.A in his city. Lol so. we have a saferoom rifle and constant police patrolls. At this point I'm taken care of. My main concern is that I'm planning on buying a investment property to fix up and the adress will become public record. My ex is extremely good at finding people on the internet and will most likely find me at that point.

My friends dad's advice is to not file anything. And if this behaviour continues to tell them where I live. So as soon as they show up he can take care of the situation.