After 7 Months NC

[Lolster]

I got a call from a withheld number at 06:30hrs.   

I can't think of anyone sane that would call me at that time of day... .But I CAN recall a certain BPDxbf that may be sat up twiddling his thumbs! 

When we had a brief recycle last year (after 6 years) neither of us mentioned my land line phone number, and we did not communicate via that number at all.  However, since he was still emailing me on an address he was blocked on, and eventually got hold of me via fb, then I'm guessing he probably still had my number stored.  Arrrggghh, I am going to be so annoyed if I have to start disconnecting my phone when I go to bed.  He is blocked on my mobile but it still lists if a call has been blocked and he doesn't appear to have tried that number.  It only rang a few times, and was hung up before it went to voicemail. I very much doubt he'd have the nerve to actually speak to me anyway when he is in no doubt that I don't want to hear from him, he couldn't handle the rejection.  When he recycled it took him ages to get up the nerve to speak to me on the phone when I said he could call me.

Doesn't seem to be much I can do about it if the number is withheld? 

[Loosestrife]

You could change your number

[JRT]

I got a call from a withheld number at 06:30hrs.   

I can't think of anyone sane that would call me at that time of day... .But I CAN recall a certain BPDxbf that may be sat up twiddling his thumbs! 

When we had a brief recycle last year (after 6 years) neither of us mentioned my land line phone number, and we did not communicate via that number at all.  However, since he was still emailing me on an address he was blocked on, and eventually got hold of me via fb, then I'm guessing he probably still had my number stored.  Arrrggghh, I am going to be so annoyed if I have to start disconnecting my phone when I go to bed.  He is blocked on my mobile but it still lists if a call has been blocked and he doesn't appear to have tried that number.  It only rang a few times, and was hung up before it went to voicemail. I very much doubt he'd have the nerve to actually speak to me anyway when he is in no doubt that I don't want to hear from him, he couldn't handle the rejection.  When he recycled it took him ages to get up the nerve to speak to me on the phone when I said he could call me.

Doesn't seem to be much I can do about it if the number is withheld? 

This is a bit off the beating path... .your phone company tells you when a call has been blocked?

[eyvindr]

Yeah. Odd.

[Lolster]

This is a bit off the beating path... .your phone company tells you when a call has been blocked?

Yes, I have caller display on my landline.  So like with a mobile the number of a caller will display on the handset, unless it is from a number that is deliberately withheld.  Some people choose to always have their number withheld by their phone co. and some calls will automatically show as withheld, e.g. from hospitals and other government bodies.  There is also an option on mobile handsets in your call settings to withhold your mobile number on outgoing calls.

If you don't automatically have these options set up then anyone in the UK can simply dial 141 before the number they are calling and it will withhold their number.

I could change my number, but I don't see why I should as it would be a major hassle at the moment due to the amount of professionals that have and use it in connection with my s12.  I'm more likely to keep a log of any calls and report it as harassment as I am sure there must be a way of the phone companies/police tracing the calls.  If I change my number who is to say he wouldn't ramp up to stalking me in person? 

[enlighten me]

I would keep a log anyway.

I kept on getting witheld numbers years ago and logged them then reported it to BT. it turned out to be an automated line and BT managed to sort it out.

I also got this happen again a couple of years ago and there is a way of having your number put on a list where you dont get these calls. Although now I wonder if some of them may have been men trying to get hold of my exgf.

[Lolster]

I would keep a log anyway.

I kept on getting witheld numbers years ago and logged them then reported it to BT. it turned out to be an automated line and BT managed to sort it out.

I also got this happen again a couple of years ago and there is a way of having your number put on a list where you dont get these calls. Although now I wonder if some of them may have been men trying to get hold of my exgf.

Yes, I know a few people who have had automated calls from withheld numbers.  I am already registered with the TPS (Telephone Preference Service) but apparently those rules don't extend to calls that are initiated from abroad, and I have had them on my mobile as it's the number I tend to give out to people I wouldn't want calling my home number. I am wracking my brains to try and remember if I've recently given my home number to anyone that may have sold it on to such places. 

[enlighten me]

Its so frustrating especially if you also have a pwBPD thrown into the mix. Bad enough they can sell on private info without your permission but when you cant see who is doing it it gets you paranoid.

[BorisAcusio]

I can relate to that, Lolster. Even 8 months after we broke up, I still got facebook messages and calls every 5-6 weeks, the last one with her number came after christmas and a restricted call 3 days ago. It's no longer triggering but seriously contemplating about changing my number as I do not want to keep the stalking image of her in my mind.

For them, the call is placed, the tension released, if you don't answer, they spin the wheel further until they got soothing answer from someone, meaning the attachment is still there. Unfortunately, we tend to assign much more meaning to it, pondering for days, making assumptions, replaying scenarios.

[Lolster]

Its so frustrating especially if you also have a pwBPD thrown into the mix. Bad enough they can sell on private info without your permission but when you cant see who is doing it it gets you paranoid.

It does make you paranoid, rather than just annoyed when there's a pwBPD thrown into the mix.  With hindsight it is very likely an automated call from abroad, hence the unreasonable time.  In fact it could even be my phone/internet provider as they no longer have me in a contract and have been blocked on my mobile,    If it is them they need to know that calling me at that time of day will result in me finding a new provider asap!

My immediate thoughts went to pwpbd as he doesn't sleep well, and less so if his child is staying over which is likely as it is school holidays, but if it is him he wont speak anyway.  Past experience is that he only ever rages via text/email, he cannot actually do it in person as I am sure part of him knows just how unreasonable his tantrums are and cannot deal with the shame of being called out.  Like the last time I saw him, he waited for around 24hrs to suddenly rage via message about a perceived slight, and the first time around he was still sending me nasty emails years later... .I just didn't get them as he was blocked. 

[enlighten me]

Or it could be the dreaded PPI.  Get a call every other day from them .

If it keeps happening and goes to answer phone before hanging up then why not leave a message saying " im not in now so leave a message. If its (exs name) then dont bother as im not interested"  If it is your ex im sure you will get a reaction .