Is This Normal Behaviour.

[Willingtolearn]

A question i would like to ask.

Is it normal for a female with BPD to have a relationship with a male that is more than twice her age.  i.e she is age 26  he is age 62.?

Or is this quite unusual?

[FlSunshineGirl]

I think it's not out of the ordinary for someone with BPD. Especially if they have issues with wanting to be taken care of and re-parented.

My ex always dated women 15 years older than him when he was 18-20. He also liked to date single moms. In my opinion that's what he was looking for too.

[Trog]

Don't know your ex but from what ive read seems there are few values in who they will and won't go for. Pushovers come from every age bracket? Why should ahe discriminate? I can see my ex settling with a much older person in her next relationship. Her mother married a man with a huge age gap and they suffer the same issues. He was docile and just let her rages flow off his back. The reason we're not good partners for many of them in the end is that we just fight back too often/much. It's all about them 24/7 365. Don't have a need now

[foggydew]

My friend is half my age, always prefers older women, and even his male friends are older - usually at least 20 years older. It seems to give him security - he actually says he feels safer. If it's BPD or not, I don't know, but he has borderline values on autism tests, and varies between childlike behaviour and adult behaviour. But even  so-called normal people have relationships with partners much older.

[raisins3142]

My uBPDexgf was abandoned by her father early on and he came back into her life when she was in her 20s.

She had very prominent father issues.  This led her to crave male attention and act oddly around men.  Also, despite our 6 year age gap, I'm older than her, she liked me to grow a beard to look even older.  I found that off putting.

She very much was looking for a protective parent role.   

[fromheeltoheal]

An attachment is an attachment for a borderline, anyone who has a 'self' they portray that a borderline wants as their own will do.  My ex always liked much younger men because they were closer to her emotional age and were much easier to control.  And then of course there are 'healthy' men and women who couple up, he much older than her, he gets a young hottie and she gets a father figure with cash.  He gets called a dog yet the other way around she gets called a cougar; what's up with that?