Was This A Covert Approach ?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My exBPD GF and i ended the relationship over 2 years ago.  When we parted i went to live with my sister and her family.  I also let my exBPD GF know that i had deleted all her contact details, telephone number etc.

My exBPD GF and my sister got on quite well together and even went to the same gym together.  However my sister stopped going to the gym a few years ago so she stopped seeing my exBPD GF.

Four months ago my exBPD GF sent my sister a Christmas Card.   She wrote in the card " I do miss seeing you and would love to meet for a coffee.  However i have lost your telephone number"  She then wrote her own telephone number in the Christmas Card and asked my sister to contact her if she would like to meet up.

About a week after my sister received the Christmas Card  my sister texted my exBPD GF to wish her a happy birthday.  My ex's birthday was a few days before Christmas.  My ex texted my sister to say thank your for remembering her birthday.

That was now four months ago, and my sister has heard nothing at all from my ex.  No texts or telephone calls whatever.

My question is,  as my ex knows i am living with my sister, was the purpose of my ex putting her telephone number on the Christmas Card  more for my benefit rather than my sisters ?  In other words was my ex hoping i would contact her ?

[Willingtolearn]

My exBPD GF and i ended the relationship over 2 years ago.  When we parted i went to live with my sister and her family.  I also let my exBPD GF know that i had deleted all her contact details, telephone number etc.

My exBPD GF and my sister got on quite well together and even went to the same gym together.  However my sister stopped going to the gym a few years ago so she stopped seeing my exBPD GF.

Four months ago my exBPD GF sent my sister a Christmas Card.   She wrote in the card " I do miss seeing you and would love to meet for a coffee.  However i have lost your telephone number"  She then wrote her own telephone number in the Christmas Card and asked my sister to contact her if she would like to meet up.

About a week after my sister received the Christmas Card  my sister texted my exBPD GF to wish her a happy birthday.  My ex's birthday was a few days before Christmas.  My ex texted my sister to say thank your for remembering her birthday.

That was now four months ago, and my sister has heard nothing at all from my ex.  No texts or telephone calls whatever.

My question is,  as my ex knows i am living with my sister, was the purpose of my ex putting her telephone number on the Christmas Card  more for my benefit rather than my sisters ?  In other words was my ex hoping i would contact her ?

[fromheeltoheal]

It's impossible to know what your ex's motivation was, could have been as straightforward as wanting to wish an old friend Merry Christmas.  More importantly, how did finding all of that out feel for you?

[myself]

Perhaps trying to attach a hook, which may have been more along the lines of "I want to still exist to someone/anyone" than "I'm trying to reel willingtolearn back in." Has it made you worried she may show up again? That she isn't really gone? Are you finding it hard to let go, and questionable things like this are easy to hang onto? Have you been thinking about contacting her? Hoping she'd be the one to try? Are you relieved, or... . ?