They don't have the guts to end it or the maturity to work through the issues.
At the heart of BPD is emotional immaturity - their development has been suspended in time due to serious trauma. This is why their "adult" r/s's don't usually last.
Many are capable of long term r/s though ?
Why do you think so?
Often, it comes down to what the non BPD partner is willing to bear. If the non BPD partner has abandonment fears or self esteem issues, the non will stay longer - they will put up with more.
Well mine left because the infatuation phase wore out I was quite happy she was high functioning though so I didn't have to put up with as much as most
I'm only going by what I see on the boards people married to BPDers for 20 years etc
Right - I was with my (high functioning, waif) ex for eight years. The first four were stressful due to her anxiety and abandonment fears, but pretty good overall. The last four were hellish. I managed to endure for those last four years - some endure for shorter periods, some longer.
I endured moaning , the need to soothe , low mood , anxiety , her selfish ways , her constant complaints about something but I never saw direct abandonment fears but I never gave her reason to
It was more a high state of stress I was dealing with walking on eggshells
But part of my dysfunction is I crave those types of high conflict r/s
I honestly don't think I would have ever left her tbh when she wasn't acting out she was great company we had fun being together I just loved being with her good and bad
The thing is anything we discussed was more her listening and me teaching with her telling me how amazing I am . the source and font of all wisdom
She really didn't have any thoughts or strong opinions on anything that didn't directly relate to her
The above says something about me NARC traits ?