Adult child w/BPD

[therelease]

My daughter is 27 and has had difficulties since her teens. We've never gotten a diagnosis but through recent crisis, I believe she has BPD. Unfortunately maybe I have some of the tendencies also. Whether that's it or not I see many times when I thought I was helping I was just making it worse for her. Consequently it has caused me feel very alone, frustrated, desperate and beaten up. I have already learned so much from reading this site. It's wonderful and I look forward to learning more. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hi therelease,

Welcome to the Parent's board, we are happy that you found us and are sharing your thoughts and concerns with us.  I'm sorry to learn of the suffering of you and your daughter.  Feeling like we have made things worse only adds to our suffering.  The way I see it is that when I know better I will do better and I forgive myself for past mistakes due to my ignorance.  Self forgiveness is important to the process of moving forward in a positive way.

Have you studied much about the disorder and what can be done to improve communication and relationships?  The Tools and Lessons in the right side bar contain a lot of info that you can look over and begin to learn a new way, a more affective and healthy way forward.

Has your daughter been in therapy in the past and did you attend together?  Is she in contact with you much?

I look forward to your reply and learning how to best support you.

lbj