Finally realizing its over

[Beach_Babe]

My ex's friend  sent me a  friend request yesterday. He was a nice guy, we just stopped speaking after he and ex had a falling out about a year ago. The friend wished me a happy birthday.  Now I feel sad. Christ.  I barely knew this man. yet he still remembered my birthday. Why after 14 years couldn't my ex?  Just out of human decency. Oh thats right, he has none.    It truly is over.

[Mayjar68]

Yeah it's like being hit with a big hammer and it stuns you. It's hard to believe that it's all over so quickly, after the time it's taken to cultivate the r/s. It's a very sad feeling, it's made even worse when you don't have proper closure and don't understand what made the r/s however bad break down so much that it's over in an instant ... .They were there and then they were gone. Then you are left trying to pick up the pieces of your life again

[DyingLove]

Babe, you'll get thru this. If anyone has faith in you, it's Me and EVERYONE!  Just like my post on Holidays, and Birthdays, (add weekends to that now too), these times are tough. We remember spending our special days "not alone" and now we spend them alone or without those familiar faces.  But guess what: you're better off now!  You've made different wonderful friends and more importantly, you've got YOU!  When you look in the mirror in the morning and see you, SMILE!   XXXOO

[Mayjar68]

So true Dying love !

Feeling the sentiment xxx

[UserName69]

Babe, you'll get thru this. If anyone has faith in you, it's Me and EVERYONE!  Just like my post on Holidays, and Birthdays, (add weekends to that now too), these times are tough. We remember spending our special days "not alone" and now we spend them alone or without those familiar faces.  But guess what: you're better off now!  You've made different wonderful friends and more importantly, you've got YOU!  When you look in the mirror in the morning and see you, SMILE!   XXXOO

And ask your self if you really want to spend time with your exBPD? Why would anyone spend time with a person who's being a pain in the ____ while you can get a normal person to have a rs with?

When I look back at my xBPD I really can't understand why I stayed with her. She was horrible, had her mood swings, always liked the drama, she even told me that I'm the one with BPD, sometimes she took a lot of distance. There are tons of other negative factors I can mention. They're really not worth it. I'm really happy that you have moved on, you can get a better partner.

[Beach_Babe]

Yeah it's like being hit with a big hammer and it stuns you. It's hard to believe that it's all over so quickly

Yeah no kidding. How are you today lovely?

DyingLove: thank you ♡ I count my blessings everyday for you guys

username. You take the good with the bad, thsts what I thought thats what 'love' was.

[blissful_camper]

You take the good with the bad, thsts what I thought thats what 'love' was.

Relationships experience challenges.  That was one of the ways that I justified staying in the r/s.  However, mutual understanding, problem solving and an improved relationship didn't emerge from those challenges.  If a boundary is a line drawn in the sand I was moving that line in various directions to adapt to the challenges in the r/s.  As long as I did that the r/s survived its challenges. The differences weren't trivial.  They were complex moral challenges.  In my opinion, he failed to heed the most basic ethical norms which made it difficult for me to navigate challenges in the r/s.  The r/s wasn't sustainable because I was ultimately unwilling to set aside my internal guide which distinguishes what is appropriate behavior from inappropriate behavior.  To set that aside would mean that I was participating in a relationship dynamic that didn't pair well with my most cherished beliefs and values.  My ex's core values and mine and what is healthy in an r/s and what isn't differed, making us incompatible.