Parent with BPD

[clark12]

I have a mother who has BPD. She has considerable meltdowns, lacks coping skills and abuses and blames me for everything. She refuses to get professional help. Living with her is a non stop daily nightmare. I am  looking for support from others who have family members with this disorder.

[Leaving]

Clark,

Welcome 

You've come to a great place with a lot of wonderful and supportive people. 

What you are dealing with is very very trying, I know.  I've got 54 years of experience with a BPD mother and 20 years with my BPD husband.  Currently, I'm no contact with my mother.  ( Sigh of relief )

You wrote that you are currently living with your mother.  Is it necessary for you to live with her? 

Have you read any of the articles on this site like the ' Lessons' on the right side of this page?  I find them to be very helpful.  Your mother most likely will never get any help and it's best if you not suggest that to her but you can get help for yourself and coming here is a good start.  Do you have a counselor yet?  I don't think this is something you should handle without professional guidance.  I'm not saying that you should have therapy every week but you need someone who truly understands what you're dealing with and who can help you to navigate the relationship with your mother in a way that benefits YOU while you're living with her.

It takes a long time to understand BPD, if we ever do, but you need to focus on your own well-being because your future is dictated by the choices you make.  I didn't have help early enough and I did a lot of stupid things that truly wrecked my life and I'm paying dearly now. 

Please keep writing your thoughts, feelings and experiences.  It really helps.