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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: No Contact Voicemail with no message?  (Read 457 times)
Forever12
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« on: June 06, 2015, 10:51:41 PM »

I went no contact 3 weeks ago.  Since then my UWBPD has tried to charm me via several phone calls but I have not responded to anything.  Yesterday morning at 5am she called me and left a voicemail message with nothing on it.  Does anyone have an opinion why she would leave a voicemail with nothing on it.  Should I be scared?
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Arcturus81
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« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2015, 12:18:45 AM »

Block the number. Phone warrior app works best. It will do an automatic pick up then hang up so it won't go to voicemail and will also block all texts. It sends a pretty clear message.
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WhatJustHappened?
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« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2015, 01:27:55 PM »

Is there a reason why you would need to be scared? I think your ex is just trying to get under your skin. I wonder if blocking calls and such will just make it worse? I like the idea of an app but I also wonder if just letting it run it's course and not taking any blocking action is the best? I guess it just depends.
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Mutt
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« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2015, 03:19:34 PM »

Do you have kids? Was it a call from a cellphone and maybe she butt dialed?

I have kids and can't control if she was going to call. I can control how I respond. I responded back by email and about kids only. This way she knew that if she wanted a response it would be by contacting me by email and not phone calls. She would leave some messages because she was testing boundaries. I really  struggled emotionally and found it hard to listen to her voice.

I subscribed to voicemail to text with my service provider. It did a fairly good job at transcribing voicemails into text sent to me by my email of choice. What I really liked is that it attached a .wav file I could playback if by chance I needed for proof later. Not to mention there was also an email with the voicemail in black and white for proof as well if she was sending nasty or threatening messages.

I just had to read the email instead of listening to the playback and I found it helped me when I was hurt.
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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
UserName69
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« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2015, 06:25:25 PM »

Maybe she pushed the end call button too late? I'm using an application for the Android platform named TrueCaller it blocks number from calling and texting you. When they call the application shows a notification.

You shouldn't be scared, I can't see a reason why you should. Once when I broke up with my exBPD she used to call me anonymously in the early morning. They just do it to hear your voice or just to let you know that she is there.
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Mutt
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« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2015, 06:52:51 PM »

You shouldn't be scared, I can't see a reason why you should. Once when I broke up with my exBPD she used to call me anonymously in the early morning. They just do it to hear your voice or just to let you know that she is there.

The silence may also be because she's trying to build up the courage.
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UserName69
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« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2015, 07:01:01 PM »

You shouldn't be scared, I can't see a reason why you should. Once when I broke up with my exBPD she used to call me anonymously in the early morning. They just do it to hear your voice or just to let you know that she is there.

The silence may also be because she's trying to build up the courage.

That's a good point. But I think the courage moment comes before she decides to call.
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