A glimmer of progress?

[Processing]

I mentioned to my wife that sometimes when she gets angry I feel like she loses touch with what she is saying.  She almost blacks out in anger.  She agreed that that happens to her.  She added that she did not think it happened nearly as much as I thought it did.  I also added that when I had said in the past that she was a borderline, I did not think she was a 10 borderline, but more like a 3.  This was the first time she did completely get angry at hearing the term borderline.  Granted, I only gave it a couple of seconds before I tried to redirect attention something else.  But, hey in my mind it was a step toward getting us to talk about this as a real problem of hers that she may eventually be able to have a label on so she can get some help with it. 

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[Michelle27]

The first time I told my H that I believed his issues were due to an illness called BPD was about 5 years ago.  I'd say it took until about 6 months ago for him to process it and finally accept there was an issue he couldn't solve on his own (or I could solve by constantly change my behavior).  Even now, I'm not sure he's just saying the words to make me believe what I want to believe, that he is motivated to get help.

[Ceruleanblue]

Telling someone you suspect they have BPD tends to not go over well. I too found that out. My husband's psychiatrist has told him he has "traits of BPD", which to me is his soft way of saying he does have BPD, but on a lesser scale. Trust me, if his psychiatrist lived with him, he'd know it's much worse than that. It's as good as I'm going to get, and I never thought we'd get this far. BPDh is now on medication and in DBT, and he's doing so much better. I no longer fear him coming home from work.

I think it is a glimmer of hope that she didn't explode. I think sometimes you just have to plant the seed. For some it takes losing something to find precious, others never get there, and some admit they have an issue, and deal with it. I just wish this disorder was not called Borderline! It's an emotional regulation disorder, and should have been named as such. Much less stigma.