PO'd at Blatant Disregard for my Safety

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I don't know if this was the right move for me or not, but I contacted a guy that I suspected my BPDexgf was fooling around with during our relationship. Countless times she had denied it and even made up an entire story of what happened the night I suspected it went down. I eventually trusted that she didn't do anything. The guy responded and told me that they were indeed having casual sex. Without protection. He then went on to tell me that his friend also had unprotected casual sex with her. I continued to have unprotected sex with her regularly as I didn't know that she was fooling around then. This is now the fourth confirmed person she cheated on me with over the course of our 19 month relationship. I only found out about one while we were still dating. I highly suspect another 6 people at the very least. I'ts absolutely sickening. It's humiliating and it has completely wrecked my self-esteem. On one hand, this was an extra few nails in an already sealed coffin, on the other hand it's a huge blow to my ego. I'm getting tested after Fourth of July weekend and I really hope that I don't have anything serious.

How could someone put another person at this kind of risk? How could someone do that to ANYONE while claiming to love their SO and while acting like a couple?  

I haven't confronted her yet and hopefully I remain strong enough to never do so.

[introvert]

I don't know if this was the right move for me or not, but I contacted a guy that I suspected my BPDexgf was fooling around with during our relationship. Countless times she had denied it and even made up an entire story of what happened the night I suspected it went down. I eventually trusted that she didn't do anything. The guy responded and told me that they were indeed having casual sex. Without protection. He then went on to tell me that his friend also had unprotected casual sex with her. I continued to have unprotected sex with her regularly as I didn't know that she was fooling around then. This is now the fourth confirmed person she cheated on me with over the course of our 19 month relationship. I only found out about one while we were still dating. I highly suspect another 6 people at the very least. I'ts absolutely sickening. It's humiliating and it has completely wrecked my self-esteem. On one hand, this was an extra few nails in an already sealed coffin, on the other hand it's a huge blow to my ego. I'm getting tested after Fourth of July weekend and I really hope that I don't have anything serious.

How could someone put another person at this kind of risk? How could someone do that to ANYONE while claiming to love their SO and while acting like a couple?  

I haven't confronted her yet and hopefully I remain strong enough to never do so.

[Beach_Babe]

Wow I'm sorry. That would be really upsetting for anyone to hear. How are you doing now?

[confusedinny]

Sorry to hear, I hope your tests are okay. I can relate to everything you're saying. I would say try not to get tangled up investigating the past, even though I know its infuriating and tempting. I'm trying my best to focus on being thankful to be out of it and looking forward. Im so thankful we didn't get married or have a child. Dodged a bullet as she was constantly pushing for it and in the beginning, I was damn near game for it... Anyways, I feel like the lies and deception were so constant, I could never untangle all of it and I know each one if discovered would just make me angry to no avail.

The 2nd time I caught her cheating it was a note to another man saying its okay for him to sleep with other women, but to please use protection with them. I didn't bother to tell her I had found the note because I knew she would just deny it. At that point I knew I was trying to find a way out so I simply stopped sleeping with her and told her my sex drive must be deflating. I did not want the health risk. It caused a lot of tension of course that I had stopped sleeping with her, but I also think it helped push her in another direction to make the final break up less dramatic.

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

These people are sick and they lack a consistencies. The more I read and learn the more I see that these individuals are capable of anything, ANYTHING. This is how they are.

There is no logical explanation. I was never able to untangle all the lies. She was very clever as I am no dope. I never found a smoking gun so to speak and I looked, no rather searched hard. All the and little weird things and inconsistencies that she explained away and that I accepted because to not accept them would mean what? That I was in a relationship with a monster. I am tempted to uncover the truth but I do not act on it. I prefer not to know all the gory details or rather I choose to not confirm them. I already know in my heart what really transpired. I had established NC for about 8 days then broke it and within 4 days she was back to the craziness again. I needed that return just to be sure. Just to make certain. I am certain now. NC whatsoever. Every moment from this point forward investigating the past is an exercise in futility and keeps me bound to the pwBPD. No more. They have taken enough. I cut them out of my life, put them out of my heart, face reality with bravery and move on with my life. Do not let them live on in your head. If you do they win. Good luck my friend.