hi guys just back

[married21years]

hi guys

just back. was an up and down time with the uBPDw

she thinks she has self esteem issues and not BPD and is working on that with the therapist

it is producing results and she is exploring her feelings.

but i talked about moving back in 5 months and she says that is too soon.

says she wants a year apart and me to work away longer.  she is making progress in therapy and i am being strong.

she actually mentioned the core issue at the center of her pain. and i seized the opening to talk about it. although she has twisted it to blame others. i didn't validate the twisting. but as soon as i did the walls came up and the attacks started 

i know this is the core of her pain and the core issue. and unfortunately it was her decision that she took. that has paralyzed her.

it is a decision that anyone would make. but the events that have followed have lead to distorted feelings of guilt and shame that need to be worked through.

she asked for help with a mirror exorcise. and i got her to add her feelings of guilt.

i know what her core pain is but i cant tell her 

this is so hard for me

i also have no contact with her therapist.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.