Anyone ever sabotage their "white time", consciously or unconsciously? Last night I was in my wife's good graces, but she was going off about someone doing something that she herself does (that happens a lot), and instead of just validating her and moving on I made some wisecrack that basically pointed out she was a hypocrite. Totally unnecessary, and a little freaky when I realized what I did. So now I'm wondering why, and made a few guesses.
1) I'm mirroring BPD behavior. A lot of BPDs get it from BPDs in their lives right? This is the one I'm most worried about honestly.
2) I'm passive-aggressively getting her back for the times she's ruined my good times.
3) I somehow like being painted black? Feel I deserve it?
4) I know the shift from white to black will always come, I just don't know when or how. I can never enjoy the white time anyway because of that. Maybe I figure if I'm the one flipping the switch, I at least have some control over it.
I wouldn't really like any of those things to be true about me, but I don't see any more angles so I'm guessing it's some or all of those. Anyone else have this experience?
DYK, I just figured this out recently. So what if you misspeak or make a mistake? A loving and caring partner would overlook it or get over it. BPD's will hold it against you and paint you black. It's a terrible way to live.