Rapidly changing emotions?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I was wondering if anybody else has had rapid changes in their emotions regarding their ex post b/u.

Somedays I despise her, other days I feel like everything is my fault.

I cannot even tell what I really want. Would I want her to contact me again? If so, for what reason?

Do I never want to see or hear from her again? I don't know, because this all varies by day (and sometimes by the hour).

I know NC is the best for me, and I am not going to dare message her.

I feel like I am going crazy.

[Schermarhorn]

I was wondering if anybody else has had rapid changes in their emotions regarding their ex post b/u.

Somedays I despise her, other days I feel like everything is my fault.

I cannot even tell what I really want. Would I want her to contact me again? If so, for what reason?

Do I never want to see or hear from her again? I don't know, because this all varies by day (and sometimes by the hour).

I know NC is the best for me, and I am not going to dare message her.

I feel like I am going crazy.

[SummerStorm]

nonya,

This is completely normal, I think.  The grieving process is not linear, especially when grieving the loss of a relationship with a pwBPD.  I'm sure some of the texts I've sent my former friend BPD probably do make me look crazy.  One day, I'm texting her and telling her that I wish I never met her; the next day, I'm texting her and telling her how much I miss the way things used to be. 

[MSNYC]

I can relate.

Over the weekend I had a couple days of really missing him, and I almost even drunk-texted him Saturday night to say so. Thankfully I didn't and I came to this forum instead, and read horror stories of what might happen if I reopen even the smallest can of worms.

This week has been really good - work has picked up in a great way and have been having fun with friends planning a Halloween party, and I haven't felt sad or anxious or even the urge to contact him.

(The only think I consistently miss is the great sex.)

It's normal. Those feelings are normal in any relationship's breakup, let alone one involving this mental health issue. Hang in there.

[once removed]

hey Schermarhorn 

emotions are rapidly changing. youre not acting on them, you are questioning them. seems like a good approach, to me. we cant necessarily control our thoughts and feelings (which are understandably out of sorts) but we can control our actions.

the questions can serve you, and you can provide answers. i found it very useful to almost interrogate myself like a child: id ask myself a question, or obsess on a thought, and instead of searching for a simple answer, id ask myself why i was asking it, why i was thinking that way, where was this coming from? id answer myself, to which id respond "why?" (more or less). id answer, id respond "why?".

i think that we each have to approach this line of questioning uniquely, but think of your line of questioning like following the string attached to a balloon. i get it if it sounds kooky; with practice it can provide you with a lot of clarity, which helps sort out the volatility of these thoughts