never thought I would get here

[Depression = 72% of members]

Took me a long time to detach from my undiagnosed BPD ex girlfriend aka fiancee,finally starting to feel the fog lifting and seeing her for truly what she is.Nothing but a disturbed cruel manipulative individual.She emotionally tortured me for months after a relationship that lasted nearly 9 years,saying some really nasty abusive things to hurt me,how I was ugly,I was controlling,crap in bed,rubbish father to my children etc etc you think of it I was called it.Rubbed my nose in the fact she had met someone else on the internet even though they are not together.

All the time she was throwing in the odd "I will always love you" posting memes quotes love songs to keep me hooked but the actions never measured up.I am quite happy being single right now,enjoying being free and independent and definitely loving being away from the drama she loves to make up.All I ever got from her was a lame arsed apology and her saying we both made mistakes.

What I find incredibly funny is how every now and then she will change her relationship status to in a relationship on facebook.last week her and her sycophant 'friend/enabler' decided to post on her facebook wall how she is now pregnant and so happy and how her and her new partner have been trying for quite a while .I didn't react to any of it just like I haven't reacted to anything at all over the last few months,so she changes it back to no relationship info to show.Again today she changes it back to in a relationship .I have given up trying to make sense of nonsense because it really is impossible.She text me this morning asking me if I would lend her some money and I politely told her no,an hour later the fb relationship change .

she has been trying absolutely every childish trick in the book to make me flare up and get a reaction out of me like I was doing right after the split but I aint biting.

Now the best part is she is still lying to me,she actually had a moment of reflection a couple of weeks ago and told me she planned to go and see a doctor but she wants to do it her own way,I probably didn't help the situation of saying "yeah I know your way,deny everything and blame everyone else and go and find the next victim" but I have found it very hard to bite my tongue after witnessing her being so evil and cruel towards me.next thing she tells me she has seen a doctor and he/she told her to speak with her mother because that is where a lot of the problems lie.Now she thinks I was born yesterday because a doctor would not say that to her .I have not asked any more questions on the matter,I am fully prepared to move on with my life being there for my children and still working full time which throughout all of this I managed to keep doing which I am so proud of myself for doing

She even seems to think she may be bipolar but as for ascertaining whether that is the case or not she is doing diddly squat to find out. Messaged me again this morning asking me to pick her up some milk and saying I wouldn't be able to stay for a coffee or have a cigarette because she hasn't got any.So me being me I took her some tobacco round,yes I got a thanks out of her but then since coming home she posts a song on her facebook basically implying that 'I' have an ugly heart and I am not her sunshine anymore.Looking for a reaction or what?

I never thought I would get to this stage I am at now,10 months ago I was a mess,close to taking my life,not knowing what I had done wrong,the answer was NOTHING.All I ever did was love the girl unconditionally and she threw it back in my face and blamed me for HER problems.So thank you to everybody on this fantastic site who in their own little way helped me understand the goings on and the dynamics of what happened to me.

And for anyone who is currently going through this right now,all I can say is,MOVE ON,do not give them the satisfaction,YOU ARE AWESOME and they DO NOT DESERVE YOU.Take some time out to be truly comfortable with yourself and realise that happiness truly comes from within and you do not need them and their fake love to make you happy.

My ex will never ever get to me again with her absolute nonsense.Ten months on,she left me viciously and callously but yet she still keeps going on about it on her facebook,calling me a liar,saying how I always said I would never leave her so why did I leave,saying how I make her angry blah blah.You really can't make this stuff up

AT LAST I FINALLY SEE CLEARLY AGAIN

p.s I don't know who said this but I came across someone posting this the other day on the family and it gets me through each day when I feel a little weak."Not my circus!,not my monkeys!" absolute classic I love it 

[DestroyedKnight]

Took me a long time to detach from my undiagnosed BPD ex girlfriend aka fiancee,finally starting to feel the fog lifting and seeing her for truly what she is.Nothing but a disturbed cruel manipulative individual.She emotionally tortured me for months after a relationship that lasted nearly 9 years,saying some really nasty abusive things to hurt me,how I was ugly,I was controlling,crap in bed,rubbish father to my children etc etc you think of it I was called it.Rubbed my nose in the fact she had met someone else on the internet even though they are not together.

All the time she was throwing in the odd "I will always love you" posting memes quotes love songs to keep me hooked but the actions never measured up.I am quite happy being single right now,enjoying being free and independent and definitely loving being away from the drama she loves to make up.All I ever got from her was a lame arsed apology and her saying we both made mistakes.

What I find incredibly funny is how every now and then she will change her relationship status to in a relationship on facebook.last week her and her sycophant 'friend/enabler' decided to post on her facebook wall how she is now pregnant and so happy and how her and her new partner have been trying for quite a while .I didn't react to any of it just like I haven't reacted to anything at all over the last few months,so she changes it back to no relationship info to show.Again today she changes it back to in a relationship .I have given up trying to make sense of nonsense because it really is impossible.She text me this morning asking me if I would lend her some money and I politely told her no,an hour later the fb relationship change .

she has been trying absolutely every childish trick in the book to make me flare up and get a reaction out of me like I was doing right after the split but I aint biting.

Now the best part is she is still lying to me,she actually had a moment of reflection a couple of weeks ago and told me she planned to go and see a doctor but she wants to do it her own way,I probably didn't help the situation of saying "yeah I know your way,deny everything and blame everyone else and go and find the next victim" but I have found it very hard to bite my tongue after witnessing her being so evil and cruel towards me.next thing she tells me she has seen a doctor and he/she told her to speak with her mother because that is where a lot of the problems lie.Now she thinks I was born yesterday because a doctor would not say that to her .I have not asked any more questions on the matter,I am fully prepared to move on with my life being there for my children and still working full time which throughout all of this I managed to keep doing which I am so proud of myself for doing

She even seems to think she may be bipolar but as for ascertaining whether that is the case or not she is doing diddly squat to find out. Messaged me again this morning asking me to pick her up some milk and saying I wouldn't be able to stay for a coffee or have a cigarette because she hasn't got any.So me being me I took her some tobacco round,yes I got a thanks out of her but then since coming home she posts a song on her facebook basically implying that 'I' have an ugly heart and I am not her sunshine anymore.Looking for a reaction or what?

I never thought I would get to this stage I am at now,10 months ago I was a mess,close to taking my life,not knowing what I had done wrong,the answer was NOTHING.All I ever did was love the girl unconditionally and she threw it back in my face and blamed me for HER problems.So thank you to everybody on this fantastic site who in their own little way helped me understand the goings on and the dynamics of what happened to me.

And for anyone who is currently going through this right now,all I can say is,MOVE ON,do not give them the satisfaction,YOU ARE AWESOME and they DO NOT DESERVE YOU.Take some time out to be truly comfortable with yourself and realise that happiness truly comes from within and you do not need them and their fake love to make you happy.

My ex will never ever get to me again with her absolute nonsense.Ten months on,she left me viciously and callously but yet she still keeps going on about it on her facebook,calling me a liar,saying how I always said I would never leave her so why did I leave,saying how I make her angry blah blah.You really can't make this stuff up

AT LAST I FINALLY SEE CLEARLY AGAIN

p.s I don't know who said this but I came across someone posting this the other day on the family and it gets me through each day when I feel a little weak."Not my circus!,not my monkeys!" absolute classic I love it 

[Pretty Woman]

This is funny... .

My ex's mother used to use the term: Not my circus, not my monkeys... .all the time. When my ex left me recently and called to tell me her mom was in the hospital and that she "loved me"... .

mind you she just left me for another and changed the locks as I was leaving (no joke). I said to her that exact phrase: Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I truly don't care about her family.  Anyone who can so cruely dismiss someone and leave them like that... .

I am so sorry for what you went through. 9yrs. And I thought 3, almost 4 was hard.

Try not to pay attention to FAKEBOOK... .All it is is a platform for them to put their "fantasy life" on display.

I got really good at reading my ex's emotional state by her profile pics.  When things aren't going well she posts pics of angry animals... .like a lion gnawing at a deer carcass. It's kinda disturbing.

Try not to pay attention to any of it.  Really.  It took me awhile to figure out how fake all of it was... .


PW

[DestroyedKnight]

This is funny... .

My ex's mother used to use the term: Not my circus, not my monkeys... .all the time. When my ex left me recently and called to tell me her mom was in the hospital and that she "loved me"... .

mind you she just left me for another and changed the locks as I was leaving (no joke). I said to her that exact phrase: Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I truly don't care about her family.  Anyone who can so cruely dismiss someone and leave them like that... .

I am so sorry for what you went through. 9yrs. And I thought 3, almost 4 was hard.


Thank you Pretty Woman,it truly is bizarre.Telling you they will always love you just as they are ripping your heart out at the same time . Took me what seems like an eternity to start seeing things the way they actually are.By no means was I ever a saint or perfect but I told my ex so many times that she never even gave me a chance,all these trivial problems she had in her head as to why I wasn't her knight in shining armor anymore had me feeling so guilty and blaming myself and no amount of begging or pleading worked.She called me a stalker but yet still to this day 'she stalks me'.I am single but yet she thinks I am seeing someone else .I really don't care what she thinks anymore,she is deluded and twisted.I AM and always have been a nice genuine guy,I lost my mother 5 years ago which knocked me for 6 but this by far was the most hurtful cruel time of my life,being disposed of by the girl who said she wanted to marry me AGAIN only a month or so before throwing me out of my home in front of our 2 children.

I know she is not pregnant,probably not in a relationship either and even if she is,bloody good luck to the guy because he will need it.I am not even going to warn him (the thought has crossed my mind).All I care about now is ME and my children and their wellbeing

But the most craziest thing is her behavior caused all this but yet she still thinks she can ask me for favors or speak to me about her life like nothing ever happened

Try not to pay attention to FAKEBOOK... .All it is is a platform for them to put their "fantasy life" on display.

I got really good at reading my ex's emotional state by her profile pics.  When things aren't going well she posts pics of angry animals... .like a lion gnawing at a deer carcass. It's kinda disturbing.

Try not to pay attention to any of it.  Really.  It took me awhile to figure out how fake all of it was... .


PW

[Pretty Woman]

It is amazing to me they really don't see any damage they caused.

My exes ex unfriended and blocked our ex on FB recently. She dated her in 2008, long distance.  She thought our ex had grown when she met me. She was telling her I was the love of her life and that she was going to marry me someday.

After witnessing what I went through she realized she hadn't changed and was the same person. She realized the only time our ex called her is when she had a new girlfriend and wanted to show off she had an ex she was friendly with (since she's burned a lot of bridges).

So this ex unfriended her. Same day received over 50 text messages calling her names... .telling her she violated her trust and loyalty.

This made my friend, her ex laugh. Loyalty? Trust? This woman was left twice for other exes of our ex. It took time away and clarity for her to realize what kind of person our ex is... .not a great one.

[DestroyedKnight]

wow that is just out there!.I have read countless posts on this site explaining about dysregulation etc but seriously deep down I really do believe they know the trouble they cause,they have to do surely?

My ex has had a few reflective moments since the split but nothing close to admitting any fault,playing the victim and blaming everybody but herself is her speciality . Don't get me wrong I love her and probably always will but I am not prepared to ever put myself in a vulnerable position she got me in again,I love myself more,I have always been a people pleaser and a nice guy,now I am putting myself first and it really is refreshing.coming home in the morning from work not having to answer to anybody,not having to listen to her accusations of me cheating for saying hello to a woman on facebook

The more time goes on the more I realize I fell in love with someone who didn't exist,I fell in love with a loving,caring,mature woman who wanted everything I wanted,I FELL IN LOVE WITH MYSELF

All she is now is an uncaring,unloving,manipulative,immature drama queen who is not capable of making me happy.

[Pretty Woman]

How many times have you heard your ex ever say, "I'm sorry"?

I counted once... .and it was after I pointed it out I never heard that from her. Even after she cheated on and replaced me she said, "I THINK you are capable of a relationship, just not with me".

Blame, blame blame. And it's so destructive to our self-esteem. Why do we buy into the words of someone who is NOT stable?

[DestroyedKnight]

Yeah like you I think I only ever counted once she ever said sorry and it was really lack lustre . Last week she came out with "yeah we both made mistakes",all the time I am stood there thinking 'yeah you can bloody say that again' .

Now the only time I ever got some sort of true reflection out of her was when I knelt down in front of her after the split and looked in her eyes and said "it's ok I forgive you,I know you can't help it" and the tears were streaming down her face and she said she does not deserve it.Days later she went back to playing her cruel games again,go figure

[DestroyedKnight]

Talking of games,relationship status changed YET AGAIN .Mind blowing but extremely laughable