Possible pattern

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

So I'm 8 months out, confused as to what dynamic she and the "replacement" have now, which I know I shouldn't care about but I do.

I'm trying to put some more pieces of the puzzle together. My T helped me realize a few of the manipulative behaviors she exhibited that I wasn't even aware of, and I'm starting to see a pattern arise now that its been a while.

February - Texts me: Asking if I have an item that she knew was left at her house. This could have been right before or right after she got knocked up. Possibly before he did it, and I know that was a big goal of hers, to have another kid (averting abandonment most likely.) So if she was trying to get either me or him to do it, then he really must not matter to her at all. I must not have either. I also got a message from her neighbor that day asking if I could fix their home theater system (I do electronics/computer repair on the side.) I think she told them I was available or something to get them to get me to go to her neighborhood.

June - Texts me again: Wishing me good luck in moving; a mutual friend told her I guess. Not sure what the intention of this was, maybe to get me to talk to her, maybe just to argue.

August - Emails me: Generalized apology for everything, playing nice for a future recycle attempt perhaps?

Now between the contact attempts, the time has been cut in half. 4 months down to two. The next contact is due later this month at the rate its going. It makes me wonder if she anticipates abandonment from him. I wonder what kind of story she'll try to use to pluck at my heartstrings when they do part ways. I'm starting to get entertained by this.

[disorderedsociety]

So I'm 8 months out, confused as to what dynamic she and the "replacement" have now, which I know I shouldn't care about but I do.

I'm trying to put some more pieces of the puzzle together. My T helped me realize a few of the manipulative behaviors she exhibited that I wasn't even aware of, and I'm starting to see a pattern arise now that its been a while.

February - Texts me: Asking if I have an item that she knew was left at her house. This could have been right before or right after she got knocked up. Possibly before he did it, and I know that was a big goal of hers, to have another kid (averting abandonment most likely.) So if she was trying to get either me or him to do it, then he really must not matter to her at all. I must not have either. I also got a message from her neighbor that day asking if I could fix their home theater system (I do electronics/computer repair on the side.) I think she told them I was available or something to get them to get me to go to her neighborhood.

June - Texts me again: Wishing me good luck in moving; a mutual friend told her I guess. Not sure what the intention of this was, maybe to get me to talk to her, maybe just to argue.

August - Emails me: Generalized apology for everything, playing nice for a future recycle attempt perhaps?

Now between the contact attempts, the time has been cut in half. 4 months down to two. The next contact is due later this month at the rate its going. It makes me wonder if she anticipates abandonment from him. I wonder what kind of story she'll try to use to pluck at my heartstrings when they do part ways. I'm starting to get entertained by this.

[gameover]

Bro, no point in trying to figure out what she's doing.  What you need to figure out is what you're gonna do.  In some of your other posts, you definitely still seem preoccupied by your past relationship (totally understandable).  But you need to make it up in your mind whether you're still on the hook as her safety net.

When she comes at you rational, sweet, seductive, telling you all the things you want to hear; when she gets you out in person and give you that look (you know the one), are you going to be able to do what's best for you?  Do you know what that is yet?

[disorderedsociety]

Bro, no point in trying to figure out what she's doing.  What you need to figure out is what you're gonna do.  In some of your other posts, you definitely still seem preoccupied by your past relationship (totally understandable).  But you need to make it up in your mind whether you're still on the hook as her safety net.

When she comes at you rational, sweet, seductive, telling you all the things you want to hear; when she gets you out in person and give you that look (you know the one), are you going to be able to do what's best for you?  :)o you know what that is yet?

Her safety net? No. F*** that.

I already know what I need to do; I'm getting to know someone healthy very slowly.

The way I see it is, I can sit around and play games in my head about her or I can simply be present and take what life is offering me now. I just sometimes wish that I would get the right opportunity to tell my ex to f*** off back to hell.

[gameover]

Her safety net? No. F*** that.

I already know what I need to do; I'm getting to know someone healthy very slowly.

Nice.  As long as you're sure about your frame of mind.

I just sometimes wish that I would get the right opportunity to tell my ex to f*** off back to hell.

Not worth it.  Won't make you feel better, won't make her realize the error of her ways, won't benefit the situation.  Actually, it might give her the satisfaction of knowing she 'got to you.'  You have the opportunity to be healthy; she doesn't--if you need revenge, that's it.   

[disorderedsociety]

I really think living so close to her and the new guy are messing with my head. I don't feel safe from her and maybe I should go ahead and move asap.