I have been trying to end this relationship for a long time. I got so fed up with her I ran off with another woman and still went back to the dysfunctional relationship. My ex is an alcoholic and I think she has BPD or npd. Well four months ago I told her I was tired of being miserable. I told her I hated my life because I hated her nagging, cheating, drinking, etc. I have lost myself. Well I know she will show up at my house so another woman took me out of town. My ex showed up three nights in a row and slept in her car. So i come back home and she shows up just to take back things she bought me. I was newly sober and she had longterm sobriety when we met. She told me I was too new and vulnerable to be in a relationship blah blah. I left her alone. She approached me again and I stupidly hung out with her and we just about spent every night with each other. So she leaves with my things she bought me and i keep getting calls and texts. I recently blocked her number and unblocked it after a week because she left voicemails. I called her and she said she went crazy thinking I blocked her number. Well I send her a final text saying she needs to get healthy and i need to heal. I pretty much told her i needed space and she could get healthy if she wanted to have a future. So i blocked the number and three days later she is banging on my door drunk as hell. We live an hour and a half apart. She was crying about my female friend i met when i was getting sick of her bs. She wept. Said i was the love of her life. Usual drunk talk. So i put her in my bed and get her some ice water. She passes out and i sleep on my recliner. I tell her to get the hell out when she wakes up. She tries to get me in the bed. We end up cuddling. She cries. Shes a mess. She then insults me. She takes a shower. Its insane. She said she would leave me alone. Her number is still blocked. Please help me. I am sober and this woman is ruining my mental and emotional health. I keep letting her hurt me. I am worried about her driving drunk. Do i keep the number blocked and continue to move on? I love her. I have not heard from her.
Since you say you have had Longterm sobriety, then maybe you know what the steps of AA are. And the first one is admitting our powerlessness and that our lives are unmanageable. Then go from there. If u have ever been to meetings, go back to some and let that energy back in. Thirdly, if you've ever considered a therapist now might be a good time to see one. It sounds like you have too much clutter in ur mind to make a clear decision. Maybe these things can help you start to clear the clutter and find a good decision for yourself.
