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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Therapy post BPD disaster  (Read 970 times)
ReclaimingMyLife
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 572


« Reply #30 on: September 21, 2015, 09:26:47 PM »

The first T was a great guy, I liked him, he was good at listening and letting me vent. But he never got/agreed on BPD. Not that he denied it, his overall approach was just to see it as a personality flaw rather than a mental health issue. Whereas the new one, clearly gets it.

I am so glad I found her.

Congrats still_in_shock.  I could imagine your new T actually helping you heal from the shock!

Way to get what you want and need Smiling (click to insert in post)
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still_in_shock
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 105


« Reply #31 on: September 21, 2015, 09:52:35 PM »

Thanks, I hope so. I really liked the questions she asked such as "so how often do you think about him", or "what did you learn from the relationship".

My other therapist was super nice, he'd listen but never probe with thought provoking questions like these. For 7 months I was just weeping and venting, hoping to get a validation that the relationship was not going to last anyway. And I never got a validation of a mental disorder in him, but just repeated notion it must be his personality.

I feel strong about her. I cannot wait for our sessions.


The first T was a great guy, I liked him, he was good at listening and letting me vent. But he never got/agreed on BPD. Not that he denied it, his overall approach was just to see it as a personality flaw rather than a mental health issue. Whereas the new one, clearly gets it.

I am so glad I found her.

Congrats still_in_shock.  I could imagine your new T actually helping you heal from the shock!

Way to get what you want and need Smiling (click to insert in post)

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