Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
June 15, 2024, 03:22:04 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
81
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Two letters in the mail two weeks after BPD ex showed up unannounced  (Read 387 times)
Greenleaf23

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 33


« on: September 26, 2015, 09:12:13 PM »

I received two letters in the mail from my ex after she showed up drunk at my house. The contents are difficult to decipher. She wrote that she truly loves me and other people tell her to go out and date but she does not want to. She asked what we were doing because she did not know what we are doing. She said she knew I blocked her number and that made her want to talk to me even more. The letters made me sad. She wrote a lot about the close connection we have and that she misses me all the time. I know she is texting other men and hanging out. So I should just maintain NC and stay strong even though I do love her. I broke up with her and I was hanging out with another woman because I could not think any more. Can anyone offer advice about this? I do truly love her but she has serious substance abuse issues and I am trying to live sober. This has all been confusing and I feel like i hurt her and I need to be there for her. She wanted me to write her back if we could not speak on the phone. All I need is advice. Everytime I have any kind if contact I just feel pain and sadness. I miss her.
Logged
Lou12
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 334


« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2015, 02:09:12 AM »

This all depends on what you want and are willing to tolerate?

Are you asking if she has totally changed and now knows what she wants then I'd say no! Maybe she does now but in my experience it only lasts until she has secured you.

Her behaviour displays very typical BPD behaviour.

Has she done this in the past? If so how has her cycle played out? Maybe looking at her past behaviour regarding a recycle can help you see where it is likely to go? X
Logged
OnceConfused
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 4505


« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2015, 02:42:17 PM »

did she ever mention about the pain she has caused you? if yes, how will she willing to change ?

Reminiscing about the past does not change what have happened and will not change what could happen in the future. I had some good times with the xBPDgf but the bad times outweighed the good.

You have left so you must have had good reasons to do so. Have anything changed since you left?
Logged
Greenleaf23

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 33


« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2015, 03:00:30 PM »

She wrote that this time apart was good for both of us and that she was exercising and working on herself. She said she never did anything to intentionally hurt me and only wanted me to be happy. She apologized for texting and calling when drunk. So I do not know if she is being sincere. She went to see her mother and said she had taken the breakup hard. So I do not know. My main concern is how to interpret her motives.
Logged
Greenleaf23

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 33


« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2015, 08:36:38 PM »

Ok I have decided to put all of this behind me. I thought this crazy woman gave me hiv. So I am just going to change my phone number and start over in a new town. I am done.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!