1 Year of "do not resuscitate"

[antonio1213]

September 27 was the anniversary for the ending of the most intense relationship of my life. I remember how I felt the first couple of months and I would never want someone to go through the same things I went through. So though it feels like an eternity since I have been on this site I just wanted to talk about my experiences in the hopes that it would help someone out there.

DNR for me was second nature. The day after she told me she was moving out I helped her move out and that was the last time I have talked to her. I am proud to say in that year since then I have not gone through any of her social media and I have not uttered a word to her. Do not resuscitate been the single best thing to happen to me besides the breakup. For anyone where I was a year ago just keep with it. I know the urges and I know how much you think you need to tell them you love them, or what they are doing to you or have done wrong. I got those urges but just don't act on them. Stick with do not resuscitate and work on yourself. I finally started to feel like a fresh human being around month 6 and it only got better from there. I am by no means completely healed, it is a work in progress and one of the most important things that I have realized is to try to not have reasons to hate her. Learn to forgive and you will naturally move on DO NOT force it. Write your feelings down in journals or anywhere (even if you are a man) and use this site as much as you need too. For the first 3-4 months I used this website almost every hour of every day, it is so helpful.

Best of luck to everyone out there. These relationships really do more damage than people think. 1 year out and I am still working on what I went through but at a MUCH better place than I was a year ago. Remember to use this site as much as you need to and of course do not resuscitate . Can not stress that enough. These people are still humans with human emotions and feelings their emotions are just more intense than anything we will every experience. Good luck everybody you are going to make it, if I did ANYONE can!

[hopealways]

Thanks antonio I needed this. I am 10 weeks NC and going strong after a tumultuous 3.5 year relationship. I quite this amazing website for over a year afraid of being triggered but I am back and it has helped even more than my T.

[focus]

Thank you for comming back and to give us still suffering hope.

I am almost 4 months no contact, even went through my divorce process NC.

I am at the anger stage now, at times I thought I would never get here, but the anger stage helps a lot staying NC.

You are right about trying not to hate, because it's so draining.

Right now I'm not sure if it's hate or resentment and anger I carry but it is something.

I will continue working on my self, going to therapy, attending CoDA meetings, read here and watch youtube videos till I think I am ready. That includes forgiving her completely and forgiving myself because I am also angry at myself.

[cyclistIII]

This is a great post! Thank you. I'm feeling pretty good this week but if I crash again I'm going to come back and read this as inspiration.

[james_s]

September 27 was the anniversary for the ending of the most intense relationship of my life. I remember how I felt the first couple of months and I would never want someone to go through the same things I went through. So though it feels like an eternity since I have been on this site I just wanted to talk about my experiences in the hopes that it would help someone out there.

NC for me was second nature. The day after she told me she was moving out I helped her move out and that was the last time I have talked to her. I am proud to say in that year since then I have not gone through any of her social media and I have not uttered a word to her. No contact has been the single best thing to happen to me besides the breakup. For anyone where I was a year ago just keep with it. I know the urges and I know how much you think you need to tell them you love them, or what they are doing to you or have done wrong. I got those urges but just don't act on them. Stick with No contact, and work on yourself. I finally started to feel like a fresh human being around month 6 and it only got better from there. I am by no means completely healed, it is a work in progress and one of the most important things that I have realized is to try to not have reasons to hate her. Learn to forgive and you will naturally move on DO NOT force it. Write your feelings down in journals or anywhere (even if you are a man) and use this site as much as you need too. For the first 3-4 months I used this website almost every hour of every day, it is so helpful.

Best of luck to everyone out there. These relationships really do more damage than people think. 1 year out and I am still working on what I went through but at a MUCH better place than I was a year ago. Remember to use this site as much as you need to and of course no contact. Can not stress that enough. These people are still humans with human emotions and feelings their emotions are just more intense than anything we will every experience. Good luck everybody you are going to make it, if I did ANYONE can!

Smart words antonio. Thanks for your post.

[irishmarmot]

I remember you from last year and your post is good news.  I am almost 2 years out and i agree with you wholeheartedly.  The pain is iintense at the beginning but when you reach acceptance you are free.  NC probably helped the most to free myself from a tortured soul.  And understanding that my ex was ill helped me from hating her.  Of course i was angry but that was just one of the stages of grief that we all feel post breakup.