That is such a perfect illustration of how a pwBPD views apologies. It's not about who was wrong and who was right. It's an instrument of power and something to used in negotiation. This sickens and saddens me so much. I spent so many years hitting my head against this brick wall, not understanding how irrelevant right and wrong was to my ex wife.
I tried to explain that to my ex in a way. She would say sorry for things she did, yet at times didn't believe what she did was wrong, in spite of knowing it hurt me. The apology then only served to push aside the issue so I would forgive her and let it go. Problem is, the apology meant nothing because it was insincere. It was merely a subtle means of manipulation.
