New job today, really want to tell BPDX and share my news

[Kc12]

I've been looking for a job for about 6 months and finally started a new job today.

Obviously I'm happy but I wanted to call my BPDX and tell him all about it. He was the one I shared everything with, it feels weird not having someone close to tell about my day.

Has anyone else felt like they wanted to share good news with your ex? Has anyone ever reached out and did you get a response? I don't plan on contacting him but part of me wishes he was still a part of my life to talk to.

[Kelli Cornett]

Totally understandable. My ex was a chef and about 7 months ago he got great job and a top restaurant in the city.

He told me about it and i was totally proud of him and told him to be proud of himself and he deserved it. I saw him from the bottom when he was just in school dreaming of this. I couldn't of been happier for him. He also met a women he liked and I was happy for him about that too.


Just cause we didn't work out in a relationship doesn't mean we don't care about you from a distance. I want most my ex's to be happy and find some sort of peace within themselves. I know they always worry about me but I've always been aware of my issues and they weren't so much. So any joy they have in life I hope it leads them to deeper emotion to get in touch with or fulfillment. Cause I tend to notice there were huge gaps there that they didn't want to admit. It's okay! No one is perfect. ( I hope they learn that someday )


Anyway, if enough time has past and you don't think it'd be a trigger for him I'd say give it a shot. Guess the worst that could happen is they ignore you or give a nasty reply but I'm guessing you could probably make a good estimate on where he'd be. We are all different.

[Kc12]

Hi BlackandBlue22!

I think it's so nice that's how you view things! I know he would be proud of me as he has always been supportive but I already told him I would never contact him again so I don't feel like I should reach out. It's just I miss him being my go-to person whenever I have exciting news I want to share but I suppose this is where I learn to let go and not have those thoughts. I know he still loves me and reaching out would give him false hope of getting back together. Guess I'll have to share on these boards instead!

Thanks for your response!

[Mutt]

Hi Kc12,

Congrats  

I see that he was told that you would never contact him again. I wanted to share that NC is not a hard and fast rule.

[Kelli Cornett]

Hi BlackandBlue22!

I think it's so nice that's how you view things! I know he would be proud of me as he has always been supportive but I already told him I would never contact him again so I don't feel like I should reach out. It's just I miss him being my go-to person whenever I have exciting news I want to share but I suppose this is where I learn to let go and not have those thoughts. I know he still loves me and reaching out would give him false hope of getting back together. Guess I'll have to share on these boards instead!

Thanks for your response!

Good boundaries than! Welcome

[Darsha500]

I can relate to this. I was studying for the GRE all summer while with my ex. I remember the sense of relief i felt after finally taking it, I was so excited and happy with my score. I really wanted to share the moment with my ex.

Likewise, I just got an interview for the job which i began preparing for while still with my ex.

It is sad. There is a sense of emptiness, of disappointment. She supported me in both of these endeavors, and i got to share with her my enthusiasm. But we don't get to celebrate together.

So I'll feel the hole. The empty place. I'll dive into it. Knowing that dwelling in that hole, I am holy. That I am whole, without her.

[Kc12]

Thanks guys! I look forward to being a part of this great and supportive family!

[Kc12]

Darsha500- Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS on the interview! I hope it goes well!

Secondly, I'm so sorry for how you're feeling. I feel we're exactly in the same boat, especially the emptiness. I wanted so bad to call him when I got the job and then after my first day, there was nothing more that I wanted than to tell him everything about my day. I'm on Day 2 of the job and I still feel sad and I expect I will for a while. I hope it gets better for you, we're always here!