Just wondering if anyone has experienced having a BPD partner paint themselves black and break up with you? Is this because they care and don't want to hurt you? Is this because they allowed you to get to close?
I can't speak for all, but I can give you my experience with my pwBPD. She always, really, "painted" herself black. That's BPD. They feel that they are always unworthy of love and affection... .they loathe themselves well beyond what we can ever imagine. My relationship was certainly a whirlwind. Jane is very high functioning (you'd never know she had BPD) and to the outside world she appears to be a happy, life loving woman. Nothing could be further from the truth. She's 27 years old, but you'd think she was 15 once you got to know her.
Jane has told me before that she didn't want to exist anymore (which I found concerning) and she told me not to worry because she would never commit suicide because she "liked herself to much" to do that. That was in a single sentence. Do you see how contradictory that is? While Jane has never told me she was diagnosed a narcissist, she certainly demonstrates many of the NPD traits along with her BPD.
In moments of her being overwhelmed (with whatever end-of-the-world crisis she finds herself in), she would often give me the silent treatment "for my protection" as she put it. She hates herself so much that she sees it a relief to me to give me ST (which is a form of abuse, regardless of how one tries to justify it). She has told me that she has used ST on me for that reason (as both punishment and protection). She also told me she would do it because I was to close to her (and she has said multiple times, both in lucidity and not, that I am the only person she feels understands her condition). So, in some cases, yes, it can be because you got to close.
