Adult son with BPD

[Spanish]

Still figuring out what went wrong here. Our adult son had BPD but we were totally clueless. Looking back over the past 10 years, we are now realizing that the behaviors were there all along and we were very frustrated with his actions. Now, after suicide attempts and failed relationships, psychological evaluation, he has been diagnosed with BPD. What next? Where do we go from here? How do we help him? Have we done something wrong that has resulted in this? Looking for answers- and the info online is not encouraging.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Spanish,

It can be a mixed blessing to learn that your child has BPD. Sadness that it's BPD, relief that there is a name for it. From what I've read, pwBPD usually have a genetic predisposition or what some call a "sensitive genotype" and this can make them more susceptible to develop BPD. There is a lot more research about how a BPD brain is different. More impulsive, more difficulty with emotional regulation, quicker to trigger and slower to return to baseline.

Is your son living with you right now? How is he responding to the diagnosis? Is he open to therapy?

You're in the right place. I highly recommend the Family Connections lessons to the right in the sidebar -----> and reading everything you can about validation. That's probably the best skill to focus on as you get oriented to BPD.