in love but cant do it no more.

[buck hunter]

I find my self asking why do I keep trying. its been over 2 years now and its at the end of the road. this site is dead on about things that I have experienced, I was told I need counsaling so to try to make things work  I went ive been throw counseling because im the one with issues then being told by 2 different counselers that there is nothing thay can do for me unless I think there is something I need to work on, one counseler told me what he thought I was faceing and what the problems were in my relationship after I told him the dinamics he was right BPD. he also told me to cut my losses and run for the hills.  being told our problems were all my problems and trying to fix my self to make our relationship work ( yes im not perfact ) but I find my self that I can not do nothing wright and im very aware to not cause conflict and to keep things posivtive but it never last long is it me or is it hard for people with BPD to stay posivtive?  thay get in a negative frame of mind and it my last 10min or for days.  ive seen her go from happy sad crying to fighting mad all in a short period of time. and it dose not matter what I do or how hard I try to make changes it dose not matter there is something else to follow that is wrong with me, its a never ending cycle. ive never tried this hard ever to try to make it work and never said sorry so meny times and often. most of it over stupid little things like getting a glass of water and not asking if she would like some. and eneything you say is twisted around used against you and is wrong or its a excuse, communication is very difficult. with  friends and family shes talks good one day and the next thay all are bad because of on thing or the other she sees in them. my family and friends don't come around when shes around and I found out her family avoids her to because the drama she causes but to her its everyone els with problems not her, she don't see it. ive learned you do not point out things that she is doing that is not good behavior its a war that you cant fight. she cant do no wrong and is allways wright in her eyes. how do you live with this? I know deep down she a great loving person when things are good thay are awesome. but it don't last long. I have a lot of compassion for her. and I know its not her falt. I want to stay friends but I don't know if that can work. eneyone have suggestions?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Chilibean13]

Hi buck,

Welcome to the board. You have found the right place for help. The rapid mood swings and blame sound exactly like BPD behavior. I would suggest you start with the lessons to the right of the screen. Take your time going through these (it's a lot to process). Start with Lesson 1 and just work your way through.

Although our SO is the one out of control, we have to look at the role we played in the dysfunction in our relationship. Before you can make anything better you must stop making it worse. The lessons will help you in that.